Communication: How to Say What You Need to Say

Communication can be super tricky….

Have you ever had an interaction where you wanted to say something totally different than what you actually got to say? Yeah, I’ve had a lot of those lately. What would the world be like if we could say what we wanted to say? What if we could be direct? What if we didn’t need to sugarcoat everything? Yeah, that would be awesome. But how can we do that and get away with it? Let’s discuss…

Saying certain things to people can be seriously frowned upon, socially speaking. This can be true especially if someone is sensitive, or if you’re in a professional setting. Regardless, I believe that people should be able to freely express themselves without being hurtful to others.

I know this may seem impossible, but it’s definitely not. So what can you do to make this a reality? Open and honest communication is key. Regardless of what you need to say, the way that you say it makes all the difference. What the hell does that mean, right? It means that you can say what you need to say, but word it in a way that is respectful and kind.

Being open and honest can potentially benefit you and the other person. But again, it needs to be done appropriately.

Check out these tips on how to say what you need to say:

Know your audience

Depending on the setting, and who you are with, decide if this is the right time and place to say what you mean. Know your audience.

Is this a battle worth the fight?

It can be difficult to discuss certain topics with certain people, so it’s important to figure out whether it’s even worth saying whatever it is that you need to say. If it’s a work thing, you may just need to go up the chain of command. Not everyone is willing to engage in an open dialogue, and that’s okay.

Stop and think

How’s the best way to phrase what you need to say without being hurtful? Take a second to think about it—rushing in a situation like this can potentially cause a lot of harm. It’s possible to completely step away from the situation, collect your thoughts, and re-visit the issue at a later time. Regardless of when the interaction takes place, be cautious, and be thoughtful.

Use “I” statements

Using “I” statements can be really beneficial in a situation like this because you are taking responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. With this, you will not be placing blame on anyone else, and it is purely a reflection of your perspective.

Body Language

Body language is a huge aspect of communication. Tone of voice and facial expressions can sometimes convey a lot more than words, so be aware of some of the other messages your body might be sending…

Don’t be hurtful

I really can’t stress this enough: we can say things without purposely offending or hurting someone else. Again, take your time, think before you speak, use “I” statements, and be as kind as possible.

Be prepared to explain 

Sometimes people may ask for additional feedback on what’s making you feel the way you do—be sure to have some follow-up info to back your statement. This definitely helps the other person, and also provides support for the issue you’re addressing.

It’s always the things that are hardest to say that hurt the most, so be aware of the words you are using, as well as your body language…

Be bold. Be strong. Be kind. YOU GOT THIS!

Communication can be stressful—check out my article on how to cope with stress here.

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xx,

Paula

The Election: Why Things Happen and How to Create Change

 How to Create Change and The Question “Why?”

Now is a time of change, and unfortunately, it consists of changes many of us are not onboard with. Why? Is a really important question here, especially during this election: WHY is this happening? HOW could this have happened? WHAT are the repercussions? HOW can I deal with this?  

Well, there isn’t an answer that fits all those questions, but there are ways in which you can make this transition easier for you and your loved ones. I know this is not something anyone wants to hear or do, but the first step is accepting the results of the election. That is now something that no one can change. The time for any alterations has passed, and even though there is still a great deal of resistance and anger, we all just have to accept it. This is now a reality—yeah, I know. Gross.

But acceptance is the first step to coping and managing an undesired change. Change comes in all shapes, forms, and sizes. Some big, some small. No matter the aspect in which change occurs, it is important to work around it, and do what’s best for you and the people in your life.

Here are a few ways in which you can make this shitty change a bit better:

1. Stand up for what you believe in

You are a human being with wants and needs, especially when it comes to biological, social, psychological, and gender related issues. Stand tall, and speak up for yourself. Always be who you are, but remember to present your perspective and also have the ability to listen to others. If we are fighting for our rights, and the right of all of our brothers and sisters, it must be done with peace, humility, and kindness.

2. Educate yourself on the topics you are passionate about

Have all the facts, and even take time to educate others. Knowledge is a gift, and a type of wealth that all should entitled to.

3. Let your voice be heard

Share your thoughts and opinions with others—you are intelligent, and the first amendment still exists. Exercise your freedom to speak.

4. Be part of the change

I am so proud of my friends who attended the Women’s March all around the country yesterday. In Los Angeles alone, there was an approximate number of 750,000 people marching. If that isn’t peacefully standing up for what you believe in, I don’t know what is…

5. This isn’t only about you, but about humanity

There are so many of us who may be fighting this change for personal reasons, but we should fight this for all of humanity. Yes, all Americans will be effected, but so will people around the world. Creating change is about more than just one group of people, but rather, for all mankind. (Man, I feel like an ad for Seven Jeans…lol)

6. Stay positive

However you decide to move forward, stay positive. Even in the darkest of times and places, light can be found. Even though this sucks, you will find a way to make things okay…

7. Most importantly, be kind

Be kind to yourself, and be kind to others. Battling change isn’t about a fight, but rather, about coming together with others in peace and standing up for what you believe in.

Spread kindness, spread love, spread positivity—it makes all the difference…

election | Donal Trump | create change | resist

**The photo above was taken in a jewelry store, and The Donald was literally wearing a suit of cash. Literally. Not much has changed since then…#truth

xx,

Paula

The Secret to Happiness in Life is Just Learning to Let Things Go

Happiness is one of those things that should be a universal right. Unfortunately, it can sometimes be one of the most difficult things to attain. I had this piece published via Elite Daily this morning, and I wanted to share it with you guys.

This piece talks a bit about what it feels like to be a in place where things aren’t going as planned, and you kind of feel stuck. Also, it describes the process in which one can finally reach acceptance. It also  explores why learning to let go is a really important concept.

We have the option to go left or right at the fork in the road. Ultimately, why not take the one, that even if longer and outside of your comfort zone, will have a better outcome?

Check it out here, and please feel free to comment and share your thoughts! 

I hope that this piece can provide some help in a moment of hardship!

xx,

Paula

If you like this, please click here to learn more about me!

Welcome

Welcome to She Who Spoke!  A blog focused on life, love, and the power of positivity.

welcome | blog | writer | positivity | self-love | self-help

My name is Paula, and I’ve been through quite a journey over the last few years. With this, my perspective on life changed. I started to focus on what it all really means. Initially, I started writing for fun, but it ended up turning into so much more. Several of my pieces have been published on different platforms, and I feel so lucky that my words and ideas were chosen to be shared with thousands of people around the world.

I enjoy writing more than anything else. 

I started this blog in order to share my thoughts with others. My hope is that this can help readers overcome difficulty in their lives, whether big or small. Most of all, I want this to be a place in which readers come for some positivity and light.

The most valuable lesson I have come across is that life is short. Value the people in your life, value the opportunities you have been given, and value what the universe has provided. We live in a society that wants more, but it’s important to stop and think: is this what I really need? Sometimes it is, however, it’s possible to find that it’s the simple things in life that make it worth living…

The content of this blog is purely opinion based. I am a licensed therapist, and will sometimes discuss things within my scope of practice. If topics are based on issues in which I am not qualified, or require further reading, I will attach a link.

All photos posted were taken on my iPhone (so basic, lol). Each photo inspired me in one way or another, or provided me with a thought-provoking response. I hope that you will enjoy the visual representations of my journey!

**New entires will be posted every Thursday at 8AM PST** 

Since the Monday blues can bring you down, take a break from your busy day, grab a tasty snack, and take a peek!

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Welcome to She Who Spoke! I look forward to getting to know each reader who visits, and hope to hear from you often!

Be happy. Be well. And be kind to yourself and others.

Enjoy the little things.

Spread love like confetti…

xx,

Paula

To read some of my published work, click here!