Millennials and the Transition from Twenty to Thirty

The transition from twenty to thirty has proven to be rather special for millennials. Unlike previous generations, millennials have had ample time and opportunity to live out dreams and adventures. Although the desire to explore life still exists among those in their thirties, there is definitely a drastic shift in lifestyle between twenty and thirty. Whether it be the way millennials in their thirties socialize, make lifestyle choices, or love their partner, it is not nearly the same as being twenty.

I was definitely one of the millennials that had the opportunity to move away for college, travel, develop friendships that will last a lifetime, and really figure myself out. The way I lived when I was twenty is very different than the standard of living I desire now. It is possible that this is due to societal norms and expectations, but also, I think people grow out of certain things.

Growing out of things, or growing up has a lot to do with sense of self, the stability one creates, and maturity. Over that decade, each person is able to discover the direction in which they would like their life to go. Regardless of being single, or married, in a career, or in school, or living in your parents’ basement—we all make choices that allow us to best convey our values.

I believe that as a person, we remain the same. I am who I am, and my age will never change that. However, as I grow up the things that I find to be most important shift.

What the transition from twenty to thirty looks like…

Big dreams

The things we desire in our thirties are significantly different than those in our twenties. The dream is now owning a home, or starting a family. Again, this is a reflection of the life one envisions for themselves, but as we get older, the dreams get bigger and bigger—literally and figuratively.

Time and convenience

Thirty makes it much more difficult to find a reason to engage in an inconveniencing task. Those tedious, awful undertakings, like finding parking in LA, or waiting in line at the hottest “it” bar, can cause one to reconsider whether to pursue that activity or not. Time is of the utmost importance, and wasting that time is not the business.

Health

More than ever before, leading a healthy life in all aspects—mind, body, and soul—is a top priority. Having a burrito every day is no longer okay. Drinking your liver away every weekend is no longer okay. As you grow up, you realize that you only have one body—it’s beautiful, it is a gift, and it’s important to take care of it.

Balance

Balance is crucial to the success of any adult, whether twenty or thirty. Life pulls us in so many directions these days—not to mention, stress levels are higher than ever before. Finding balance in order to sustain wellness is pertinent. Meditate, stop answering work calls when you’re off the clock, get a massage every month—whatever it takes, find balance.

Fun

Ah, fun. The things that change the most. Currently, I enjoy staying in, taking my dog to the park, watching TV with babe, and going to bed at 10PM. In my previous life—my twenties—we would just be starting the night at 10PM. I look back and can’t even imagine how I used to keep up with that lifestyle. Regardless, I wouldn’t change a thing, past or present…

Graduation parties vs. wedding parties

Literally everyone and their mothers gets married around thirty. It’s so exciting to see my closest friends find their soulmates and begin a life together. Marriage is a pretty big deal, even though it may not seem like it. We’re not in college anymore, Toto…

Family

Spending time with family isn’t at the top of your list when you’re trying to figure out who you are, and where your place in the universe is. Twenties are meant for solo time. Thirties, however, are meant for rejoining the family dynamic—or creating a family of your own. Spending more time with your parents and siblings, really getting to know your nieces and nephews, and possibly having your own child, become such a substantial part of your life. It’s quite lovely…

The hott guy vs. the good guy

Choosing a partner is always a task, whether you’re in your twenties or thirties. The difference is, however, that what you’re looking for in a partner changes. You start to consider the long-term: Do you want the same things? Have the same values? Are you compatible? Do you enjoy the same activities? Do you like your partner’s family? All of these things become important. I mean, this is the rest of your life we’re talking about, not just a date to the school dance.

Yes, thirty seems to be more serious, but it’s also a time to cherish all that you have accomplished—you owe it to yourself to live the life that you want, no matter what others say…

millennials | growing up | transition | lifestyle |thirty | twenty

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Paula

Relationships: How to Know if it’s Real Love

Relationships are particularly tricky, especially when trying to figure out whether it’s real love or not. When we are in a new relationship, it’s as if the world is now made of chocolate chip coated cotton candy clouds. Everything is pleasant, and peaceful, and your heart is so filled with joy that it’s left your body and made its way up to heaven without you.

This initial stage of love, also known as the honeymoon phase, is so much fun. But once your cotton candy bubble pops, your love can look significantly different. The question is, however, is it the love that’s different? Or is it you that’s feeling different?

Being in love can lead to a skewed perception of reality. Feeling all the love can cause one to ignore possible red flags, potentially turn a blind eye to dishonesty, and even accept behaviors that aren’t okay. Once you’re able to make your way back down to planet earth from those cotton candy clouds, you may, or may not, like what you’re seeing.

There can be a wide-array of barriers when it comes to actually understanding whether the relationship you’re in is right for you. Is it healthy? Is it making you happy? Are you at ease? Every single person has a unique set of needs when it comes to finding the right partner, as well as the right kind of love. There are many things to consider, so what do you need to look for to discover if it’s real love?

How to know if love is real… 

Self-love

When you find the right kind of love, it becomes a lot easier to discover just how much you love yourself. I truly believe that self-love is part of the foundation of any successful relationship. Alongside trust, communication, and respect, the way in which you love yourself is also how you will accept love. When you love yourself, you have the insight and ability to know whether or not you’re not being treated appropriately, and you can better understand if this love makes you feel good about life and yourself. When it’s real love, you’ll feel it in your bones…

Boundaries

Being able to set boundaries with your partner, and make him or her aware of your needs is crucial to the success of your relationship. Anyone can set boundaries, however, it’s whether or not your partner respects those boundaries. If your needs aren’t being met, it possible that you won’t continue to be cuddled up in your cotton candy clouds.

Things are easy

Yes, all couples have problems and conflict can sometimes arise. But if at the end of the day things flow pretty nicely, and being together is easy and fun, you’re definitely on the path to a healthy relationship.

Relationships are not meant to be hard, they’re meant to be fulfilling and joyful…

Lifestyle and compatibility 

Do you two like the same things, and want to live life the same way? Are you able to complete your partners sentences? Do you know exactly what your partner is thinking when he sees the dog with the rainbow mohawk walking down the street? That’s great. You’re compatible, you want the same things in life, and you understand one another. Being able to engage in fun activities together allows your love to blossom and build a strong bond.

Compromise

When you and your partner are able to make decisions based on both of your needs without becoming resentful, you’re solid. Engaging in a discussion about potential life altering changes, and figuring out how to make those changes, all while respecting one another, has a lot to do with love. If someone doesn’t love you, they wouldn’t be willing to switch things up and make improvements.

Guilt be gone 

Guilt is something you don’t want in a relationship. Being able to put yourself first, whether it be for your career, schooling, or for the sake of balance, without your partner making you feel guilty, is pretty spectacular. Knowing that you are free to do whatever you need without worrying that you’ll come home to an angry partner is truly a gift.

If your partner understands you and provides you the space that you need to care for yourself, that is a selfless act. It’s kind, and it conveys a great deal of love…

Acceptance

Accepting one another, as you are, and not wanting to change a thing is a very loving gesture. It is hard to enjoy every single thing about a person, but if you are capable of doing that with your partner, it’s real love.

Love is all around you. How you choose receive and extend love is up to you…

real love | relationships | love | lifestyle

~Photo by Christian Gertenbach on Unsplash~

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Paula

15 Non-Negotiable Rules For Navigating The World Of Your Twenties

It’s all about life rules…

Millennials | rules | life | lifestyle

Hey guys! I feel so lucky to have had another piece shared via Thought Catalog. This particular piece is very special to me because it’s about many of the life lessons I’ve encountered over the years. These non-negotiate life rules have helped me lead a healthier, more balanced lifestyle.

Whether in your 20’s, 30’s, or 40’s, know that these rules will always be by your side to provide you the support and logic that you need.

These rules also help you remember what’s actually important in life. Like people, and our families…

Of all the things discussed in the article, this is my favorite:

Have no regrets

Life happens—it is what it is. Regardless of the situation, you must have been able to take something valuable away from even the most awful moments. Life itself is a huge learning experience. Embrace the good and the bad—find the silver lining. The things you learn will come in handy someday.”

Spread love like confetti, and cherish the love and care that you are provided by those that matter. Be happy, and appreciate the little things.

Life is meant to be lived, so laugh, love, and do the things that bring you joy…

xoxo,

Paula

Inspired to make some changes? Check out why you need to unplug…

Why It’s Important to Travel with Your Partner Before Tying the Knot

Travel is such an important part of life. Travel allows for new experiences, personal growth, and the ability to really get to know someone else. Whether doing it solo, with friends, or with your partner, your joint travel experience can define that relationship.

 I’m one of those people who can’t travel with just anyone. Because of this, I was pretty nervous about taking a 3-week international trip with my beau. We’ve been together for over a year, and our local trips have been great. I literally can’t get enough of this guy. BUT, traveling across the world, while trying to navigate a new place, in a foreign language, with varying cultural norms, can create some friction. 

The primary question I got from friends when we got home was, “did you guys fight?” This was confusing to me—were we supposed to fight? Luckily, there were no arguments, and we had an amazingtime. 

Having had the opportunity to spend 24-uninterrupted-hours together each day for 3-weeks helped me realize just how much we love each other. However, if we weren’t compatible enough, many things could have gone wrong. And if they did, we may not have returned as two people in love…

Consider these 7 things when traveling with your partner before tying the knot: 

1. Making plans

Making plans is so important. Whether it’s for dinner, travel, your new apartment, or your future family, being on the same page is crucial. What’s your travel destination? What attractions will you visit? What type of food will you eat? Will you rent a car? Or utilize public transportation? Will you stay in a hostel? Or a fancy hotel?

Being able to weight the pros and cons, and make a joint decision that both parties are comfortable with is just the first step. If the two of you desire different things, making plans can potentially become a barrier to moving forward in your relationship. 

2. Compromise

Compromise is also part of making plans—can the two of you work together to settle on something you’ll both be happy with? It can be one person choosing hotels, and the other booking tours, or both of you planning everything together. Whatever it may be, make sure you are both happy with what’s coming. 

3. Lifestyle

Leading a similar lifestyle is vital when it comes to travel. Are you wanting to go on a foodie tour? See the sights? Visit the museums? Or climb Mount Kilimanjaro? Will you both agree on engaging in the same activities? Or will it become a battle? 

My beau and I decided early on that we wanted to eat our way through Europe. We wanted to get lost in each city, and take in as much of the culture as we could. We did not plan any tours, nor did we engage in the craziest activity that city had to offer. Our desire was to enjoy our vacation and go with the flow.

If we hadn’t agreed on the same things, it would have been totally possible for conflict to arise.  

4. Spending time 

I think spending an extended period of time with someone and not wanting to punch them is a reallygood sign, lol. Are you able to tolerate your partner 24/7 for several days and/or weeks? Are you able to remain patient? And kind? And not find something to bicker over? 

If you can handle constantly being in close quarters for several weeks, sometimes under difficult circumstances, you and your beau can really get through anything…

5. Having fun

Do you have fun with your partner? Does your partner suggest activities that you both enjoy? Taking pleasure in the time you and your partner spend together, even if you’re doing nothing, is crucial to the success of a relationship. 

You can’t always be happy, and life isn’t always fun, but there should be more good times than bad… 

6. Listen to your gut

Are you at ease? Or are you anxious? Are the butterflies in your tummy from excitement? Or from nervousness? Listen to your gut. Our bodies can sense things that we might not yet realize. Living a life where you’re constantly on edge is not healthy. Be aware of what your body is trying to tell you…

7. What’s next?

Will you come back from your trip knowing that this person is the one for you? Or will you return wanting to end things? Long trips can do that, and it’s okay. If you can’t tolerate two weeks with your partner, how are you going to endure a lifetime? 

Traveling with your partner before tying the knot can reveal a great deal about both you and your partner. If you’re both on the same page, and have the ability to work together as a team, your relationship is probably in a healthy place…

travel | dating | marriage | relationships | travel with your partner | compromise

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Paula

Get Healthy: How to Best Care for your Body

Having a healthy body is so important. There are so many campaigns running right now with a Love Your Body theme, and I adore them. I think these campaigns are providing many women and men with the courage and ability to feel comfortable in their own skin, regardless of shape, size, color, or ability.

Our bodies are a beautiful thing, and we should always be grateful for them. Yes, loving the way your body looks is crucial, but loving the way your body works is important too. The way in which our bodies function, move, and thrive is miraculous.

Think about it: our bodies are so complex, and can accomplish so much. From digesting food, to fighting off colds, to being able to chew and swallow, to running, jumping, stretching, and engaging in all the activities we love. They are just spectacular.

Due to working in the medical field, I have grown to appreciate my body more and more each day. I feel that as a young, spry person, I have taken my health and wellness for granted. Luckily, I have pulled away from this ideology and now truly value both the simple and complex things that my body can do.

It can be difficult to appreciate the “simple” things our body does like breathing, mobilizing limbs, or having our hearts beat into our chests, because those things seem so normal. Isn’t crazy to think that our lungs remember to breathe all on their own. It’s an automatic function, and it’s part of this beautiful system that keep us alive.

This system, however, is very intricate, and it can fall apart in an instant…

Having to watch patients struggle with the essentials of staying alive, such as breathing, has helped me see how important it is to take care of my body. I want to be healthy, I want to be strong, I want to appreciate my body each and every day. And I definitely want to dance the funky-chicken at my 97th birthday celebration.

I want to live. I want to thrive. And I want to experience all the joys of life while at my best health.

Here are the ways in which you can best care for your body:

1. Stop taking your health for granted 

As mentioned above, we take these “simple” functions for granted, but they keep us up and running. Every single part of your body has a purpose, and you should value and cherish that no matter what. Love your body for what it looks like, and for what it can do.

2. Eat well

Although this doesn’t mean that you always need to eat all organic, grass-fed food (although that would be ideal), energize your body with healthy food that has adequate nutrients. Eat fresh food. Cook at home so you know what ingredients are going into your body. Have a fridge packed full of veggies, fruits, yogurt, nuts, etc. Nourish your body, and it will work even harder for you.

3. Limit sugars and processed foods

This includes soda. Yes, I love that delicious bubbly too, but it’s really not the greatest thing for your body. Sugars are empty calories and have little to no health benefits.

Processed foods also contain lots of sodium, and typically have a ton of preservatives. Man-made chemicals are exactly that, man-made. Try to consume foods that are produced by the earth.

4. Exercise

Whether it’s every day or once a week, exercise. Allow your body to feel good and strong. Exercise is also great for your mental wellness, as it increases serotonin levels in the brain and can elevate your mood. Make sure to do something you enjoy. Running on a treadmill at the gym is not fun for me, so I go for a run outside instead. Again, whatever it may be, have fun!

5. Limit substance use

Hey, a cocktail or glass of wine now and then is totally fine. But remember that too much of anything isn’t healthy, especially alcohol or other drugs. While you may enjoy using recreationally, make sure that using doesn’t start to affect your health and/or ability to function and participate in daily tasks. If you happen to find that this is the case, for you or a friend, there are plenty of ways to get help.

6. Love your body

If you mentally love your body, you will have more reasons to care for your body. Each and every single person has been blessed with the body they were given. Yes, it’s a blessing. Love yourself, love your healthy body, and be comfortable in the skin that you’re in. The happier you are within yourself, the better care you can take of yourself.

YOU. ARE. PERFECT. JUST. THE. WAY. YOU. ARE.

7. Respect your body

Try not to put yourself down in front of others, or even when you’re alone. Remember that your body is a gift, and it provides you with a safe home. Both body and mind should be connected, so if you struggle with self-esteem, try to say three positive things about yourself each morning. Positive affirmations will help you mentally connect to your body, and also help you accept your body. Aim for a well-rounded love of your body and mind. You are worth it.

Ever have a health scare? Check out some tips on how to cope here.

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xx,

Paula