Seven Reasons Why You Are Enough

No matter what anyone says, you are enough.

For several years, mostly when I was younger, I felt as though I needed a special someone to feel complete. To help me feel whole. The thought of having someone else around to love, laugh, and explore with was so near and dear to my heart. But over time, I learned something different…

Between failed relationships, and even more failed relationships, I found that I was taking time to work on myself. To improve my life. To work on my goals. And yes, even though I still wanted a partner, a love that was so amazing that my heart would burst from all of the joy, I learned that I was everything I ever needed. 

Growing into the person you hope to be is not a small task. All of the shit you go through in life, whether it be loss, broken relationships, family issues, money issues, or addiction, you come out of it with a set of skills and the knowledge needed to be better. This is something that no one can ever take away from you, or give you. These life lessons are yours, and only yours.

So what makes you enough? Actually, let me rephrase that—what would keep you from being enough?

You are a person with a great deal of knowledge, strength, and courage. You stand tall in the world, and you are the best version of yourself. Not to mention, you are independent, you are alive, and you are thriving. Even if you are in a great relationship, you know that, no matter what, you can make it on your own. This person is in your life because you want them there, not because you need them there.

Regardless of what society tells you about needing to have a partner, a relationship, or a marriage, you don’t. Yes, being in a relationship with the right person can be great, but what you really need is to be your own person, to love yourself, to know who you are, and to feel that you are enough. 

Here’s why you’re enough:

1. You are intelligent

You are beyond intelligent. You’ve created this beautiful life for yourself, and you are absolutely capable of making informed decisions. You continually work on being the best version of yourself. If that’s not smart, I don’t know what is. You are badass.

2. You are independent

Whether flying solo or not, you are independent. You’re on your own. You manage your life, and you’re effing awesome at it. You run the show, and you are very much on top of things. Again, badass.

3. You have meaningful relationships 

Having people that you love and care for is crucial. These relationships can be with friends, family, or colleagues. Love is love. You are there for those that are important to you, and are capable of accepting the love and care that they provide you as well.

4. You are reaching your goals

Whether it’s career goals, school goals, or special training, you are working towards something! You are building a life for yourself, and focusing on something you absolutely love. You are able to stand on your own two feet and take care of mind, body, and soul.

5. You are healthy 

You take care of yourself and focus on your overall wellness. Having a well-balanced life is so important, and maintaining that mind-body connection makes all of the difference. Keep learning, keep growing, keep thriving.

6. You are strong

The fact that you have overcome whatever it is that life has handed you thus far is evidence that you are strong. You continue to move forward, and push through any hurdles encountered on the road called life. Your ability to stay motivated is so powerful, and you should constantly be reminded of your courage and bravery.

7. You are enough

No matter what anyone might say, you are enough. Some will try to make you feel small, and try to make you feel that without them you are nothing. THIS IS NOT TRUE. You are able to provide for yourself, love and care for others, and continually grow as an individual. All of the things that you do only require you, and no one else.

You are wonderful, you are smart, and you are kind. Love yourself because there are so many people out there who love and adore you too. And if someone doesn’t appreciate how great you are, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life. Stay motivated, stay strong, and never allow another being to tell you you’re not worth it.

You are enough.

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xx,

Paula

Love is Not Created Equal

Love is one of those things that comes in all different shapes and sizes, and it’s never the same. Each piece is different, and definitely not created equal.

Have you ever been in love? Or thought you were? Where you feel like your heart is going to burst because you love the person standing by your side so much? Yeah, I’ve been there. Been there, and done that. Twice. The difference, however, is why one relationship lasted and the other didn’t. One was corrupt, and the other wasn’t.

Love can be an evil-eyed monster sometimes. It can be so intense that it literally feels like you’re dying inside. It’s the kind that makes you sacrifice your needs, your happiness, and your wellness just to make the other person happy. A love that is miserable and viciously demanding—it’s simply the worst.

That was the first kind of relationship I had. Where I loved so much that it turned to hate—eventually some of that was me hating myself.

I took so much away from who I was and what I wanted. What I thought was me “loving” someone else was actually slowly chipping away at me.

Now, I’ve been lucky enough to find a love that is the complete opposite. A love that I gladly give, unconditionally, because I know I will receive the same. A love that makes me smile, and feel full, and laugh uncontrollably all the time. One that is so selfless and passionate, that my heart feels like it’s going to burst.

A love that provided me with the support and care I needed to be a better human being. A love that gave me the hope and courage to pursue my dreams. One so strong that it would stand by me no matter what.

This is my definition of love. This is what I expect and need to have a successful relationship. How I was lucky enough to find it? I have no idea.

So take time to think about what you need in a relationship. Is it the type that will make your heart feel so full that it’s going to explode from all the joy? It could be the type where you and your partner just can’t bear to be apart? Or the type that will allow you a great deal of space and the ability to be as selfish as you need? Each person requires something different, and as long as you and your partner are on the same page, it will fit.

Love is like a puzzle. Once you find your missing piece, it literally feels like your whole life has come together.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d always felt very fulfilled: I have great friends, a wonderful career, and an abundance of adventures to look back on. But still…something was missing.

I came to find that my missing piece was sharing my life with someone who wanted the type of loving feels I was able to give, and vice versa. A person who has the same values and goals. A person who enjoys the same lifestyle.

Basically, it’s all about that puzzle—when it fits, it fits. When you know, you know.

Don’t settle for anything less…

xx

-Paula

To learn more about how I found my love, click here!

What Turning Thirty Feels Like for a Millennial

Wow. I just turned thirty. Who would have thought turning thirty would come as quickly as it did…

I can still remember my twenty-first birthday—it literally feels like it was just yesterday. Twenty-one is always the golden age you really wait for because you finally get to go out drinking and things. You know, the fun stuff, lol.

As I look back on all of the crazy shenanigans my friends and I got ourselves into, and how much fun it was, I realize that I could no longer engage in those types of activities at this point in my life. Growing up entails so much, and until you hit a huge milestone, such as turning thirty, you don’t realize how much you’ve changed.

The change I see isn’t a negative change. It’s a change full of memories, successes, adventures, and many mistakes—mistakes that I learned from. It’s so hard to believe that I’m letting go of my twenties and moving on to a new chapter.

I think the transition from twenty-nine to thirty isn’t just about another year, but rather, the end of your childhood. The end of your young adulthood. Your ability to make mistakes and still have an opportunity to come back from that. It’s about resilience, and heart break, and growth, and learning to love yourself.

Holy shit. Did I really go through all of that and make it out alive? Whoa. 

Yup. That’s what turning thirty feels like to me—knowing that I experienced some of the most difficult, life changing, yet amazing years of my life. This is why I am who I am today. These are the experiences that got me to thirty. These are the lessons that helped me stand on my own two feet and be successful.

This is turning thirty.

So yes, I’m feeling super anxious, but also super excited. I couldn’t imagine starting a whole new decade and chapter in my life without being where I am now. Without being who I am now. Without being comfortable in my own skin, loving what I do, and loving the person I share my life with. Not to mention, having the sweetest pup on the planet.

I seriously couldn’t ask for much else…

Turning thirty, especially if you’re not where you had hoped to be, may not be as easy. However, I am still a firm believer that timing is everything. Maybe you need to be stronger before you are handed your big moment. Maybe you need to be wiser. Maybe you need to have hit rock bottom first.

Regardless of the scenario, remember that life gives you what you need when you’re ready and able to accept it. So roll with the punches, focus on the positive things, and let life take its course.

Each year brings us new excitement, love, and adventure. Embrace. Every. Single. Moment. Take it in like it’s the last thing you’ll ever see, hear, taste, or feel. Appreciate everything that you have been given, and remember that you are not only one year older, but also one year wiser and one year stronger.

Aging isn’t about getting older, it’s about all the things we learn along the way.

Even though I am nervous, I couldn’t be happier to be turning thirty.

Thirty is the time when life is stable, things are comfortable (but not boring), and staying in on a Friday night with a box of pizza and bottle of wine is cooler than going to the club.

Wait…so I never technically have to go clubbing again!?!? Hallelujah!

Thank you, thirty, for a beautiful welcoming filled with an abundance of joy and laughter…I really couldn’t have asked for more…

xx,

Paula

If you like this, click here to find out more about me!

 

How to Handle a Health Scare

Needing to handle a health scare can be terribly frightening…

Our bodies are a gift. A gift that is a blessing, and allows us to think, and move, and do all the things that bring joy to our lives. It’s a super hottie gift. And also a gift that we may take for granted sometimes…

I recently experienced some symptoms that were concerning, and actually super scary. A full-blown health scare. Because I work in healthcare, I immediately thought of the worst case scenario. I wondered how bad it could be, and I tried to figure things out. Obviously, the first thing I had to do was go see a doctor. Not my favorite thing to do, like not at all lol. This, in and of itself, is terrifying because physicians are trained to tell you if something is a problem or not. The worst part is when the doctor gets that look on his/her face and says that they’ll need to do further testing. That usually means that something is wrong…

Luckily, nothing concerning was found, and I am so so so grateful for that. However, having gone through this provided me with an alternative perspective. One, as a health care professional, and two as a person with family and friends who have been diagnosed with a chronic illness.

Because I practically live in a hospital, death is now an everyday thing. Illness has become the norm.

My own personal experience helped remind me of how frightening it must be for patients to come in for a health scare examination, come in for a procedure, or come in for their chemo treatments. Because this is now my norm, going through this allowed me to have more empathy for what my patients, friends, and family members might be feeling. The fear, the angst, the anxiety, or even just the thought that something might be seriously wrong with their body.

I also came to find that if you’re the person being screened for a potential diagnosis, having a positive outlook isn’t necessarily the answer. I’ve always believed in the saying “expect the worst but hope for the best,” and that’s what I did.

Throughout this process, the people in my life who were aware of what was happening continued to reassure me that nothing was wrong, and that everything’s going to be ok. Which before you have the final results could be totally true, but what if it’s not?

Because I knew how bad the news could potentially be, I was hopeful rather than positive. I was hoping that nothing would be wrong, but I wasn’t expecting for nothing to be wrong. I took the time to consider potential outcomes for each possible scenario, and try to prepare myself. If the prognosis was poor, how would I process the bad news? If I needed treatment, would I pursue that? And if I needed help, who would be available to help me?

Again, because I work in healthcare I knew that these thoughts could potentially become a reality

I feel lucky to have had such amazing support while all this was happening, and I am grateful that I am healthy. Health is wealth. Having a functioning, strong, well body is so important, and really, all that you need.

Take care of your body, love your body, and cherish all the things that it can do. It could all be taken away with the blink of an eye…

Most importantly, love your bodyIt is beautiful, and it is perfect just the way it is. We spend so much time criticizing our bodies when we should really be appreciating them.

Enjoy your body. Appreciate your body. Love your body. 

xx,

Paula

To learn more about me and what I do for work, click here!

The Election: Why Things Happen and How to Create Change

 How to Create Change and The Question “Why?”

Now is a time of change, and unfortunately, it consists of changes many of us are not onboard with. Why? Is a really important question here, especially during this election: WHY is this happening? HOW could this have happened? WHAT are the repercussions? HOW can I deal with this?  

Well, there isn’t an answer that fits all those questions, but there are ways in which you can make this transition easier for you and your loved ones. I know this is not something anyone wants to hear or do, but the first step is accepting the results of the election. That is now something that no one can change. The time for any alterations has passed, and even though there is still a great deal of resistance and anger, we all just have to accept it. This is now a reality—yeah, I know. Gross.

But acceptance is the first step to coping and managing an undesired change. Change comes in all shapes, forms, and sizes. Some big, some small. No matter the aspect in which change occurs, it is important to work around it, and do what’s best for you and the people in your life.

Here are a few ways in which you can make this shitty change a bit better:

1. Stand up for what you believe in

You are a human being with wants and needs, especially when it comes to biological, social, psychological, and gender related issues. Stand tall, and speak up for yourself. Always be who you are, but remember to present your perspective and also have the ability to listen to others. If we are fighting for our rights, and the right of all of our brothers and sisters, it must be done with peace, humility, and kindness.

2. Educate yourself on the topics you are passionate about

Have all the facts, and even take time to educate others. Knowledge is a gift, and a type of wealth that all should entitled to.

3. Let your voice be heard

Share your thoughts and opinions with others—you are intelligent, and the first amendment still exists. Exercise your freedom to speak.

4. Be part of the change

I am so proud of my friends who attended the Women’s March all around the country yesterday. In Los Angeles alone, there was an approximate number of 750,000 people marching. If that isn’t peacefully standing up for what you believe in, I don’t know what is…

5. This isn’t only about you, but about humanity

There are so many of us who may be fighting this change for personal reasons, but we should fight this for all of humanity. Yes, all Americans will be effected, but so will people around the world. Creating change is about more than just one group of people, but rather, for all mankind. (Man, I feel like an ad for Seven Jeans…lol)

6. Stay positive

However you decide to move forward, stay positive. Even in the darkest of times and places, light can be found. Even though this sucks, you will find a way to make things okay…

7. Most importantly, be kind

Be kind to yourself, and be kind to others. Battling change isn’t about a fight, but rather, about coming together with others in peace and standing up for what you believe in.

Spread kindness, spread love, spread positivity—it makes all the difference…

election | Donal Trump | create change | resist

**The photo above was taken in a jewelry store, and The Donald was literally wearing a suit of cash. Literally. Not much has changed since then…#truth

xx,

Paula

The Secret to Happiness in Life is Just Learning to Let Things Go

Happiness is one of those things that should be a universal right. Unfortunately, it can sometimes be one of the most difficult things to attain. I had this piece published via Elite Daily this morning, and I wanted to share it with you guys.

This piece talks a bit about what it feels like to be a in place where things aren’t going as planned, and you kind of feel stuck. Also, it describes the process in which one can finally reach acceptance. It also  explores why learning to let go is a really important concept.

We have the option to go left or right at the fork in the road. Ultimately, why not take the one, that even if longer and outside of your comfort zone, will have a better outcome?

Check it out here, and please feel free to comment and share your thoughts! 

I hope that this piece can provide some help in a moment of hardship!

xx,

Paula

If you like this, please click here to learn more about me!

New Beginnings

She Who Spoke has come to life…cheers to new beginnings!

It’s been one day since I grabbed this domain off the market, and I’m so excited to get started. I literally think I’m driving my boyfriend insane so far. I kept him up until 2AM yesterday to help me choose a theme for this site. Am I still choosing themes? Yup. lol.

But hey, you have to invest all of you into the things that you love. Into the things that make you feel inspired. Into the things that bring you joy.

This brings me joy. 

I cannot wait to embark on this new journey with She Who Spoke. I cannot wait to share my thoughts and views with many readers. I cannot wait to help others overcome some of the obstacles that life might throw their way–if anyone knows about hitting a bunch of life hurdles, it’s me.

Life is beautiful, and I am so happy to share that beauty.

xoxo,

Paula

If you like what you see, please click here to learn more about this blog!