Is Social Media Destroying Your Self-Esteem?

Social media has such a significant influence on society, and the vast majority of posts involve adveritsements. I can’t remember a time when there was such an emphasis on things as there is now. Not that I’ve been around that long, but it seems as though material objects matter more now than they ever have before. There are many factors that can potentially be responsible for this phenomenon, however, it seems as though the Instagram and Facebook feeds may be the culprit.

From the fashion bloggers, to the travel bloggers, or anyone who is paid to advertise a product or location, you find yourself somehow sucked into the “wow I wish I had that” mindset. This newfound desire for things has created such a significant emphasis on having more, wanting more, needing more. From the fancy designer handbag, to the newest fancy iPhone, to the fancy hotel vacation—YOU NEED TO HAVE IT.

Not only is social media keeping us from appreciating the amazing things we do have, but it’s also creating a sense of inferiority. I am not enough. Not rich enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough…

This is absolutely invalid. You are everything. You don’t need things to be happy. You don’t need to go into debt in order to buy the lavish items being advertised on your feed.

Here is why It’s important to keep media at face-value:

1. Work, work, work

Bloggers get paid to look good. They get paid to write a review on a new product. They get paid to tell you what’s cool. Does that mean whatever they’re advertising is necessarily the new cool thing? Maybe, maybe not. Also, they usually get the item for free, whereas most normal people don’t have that luxury.

2. It’s a team effort

From photographers, to videographers, to make-up artists, chefs, or personal trainers, to a writing team, it’s not a one (wo)man show. Everyday people leading normal lives cannot be expected to have the same appearance or lifestyle because between work, family and friends, laundry, making dinner, walking your dog, and sleep, it’s impossible to live a life such as those displayed on social media.

3. Why can’t life always be this breezy?

Life isn’t always about rainbows, unicorns, and Bentleys. Life is hard. Based on the images presented to us via social media, we are expected to believe that life is perfect. Perfect relationships. Perfect bodies. Perfect homes. But that’s exactly what it is, a belief. Our imperfections make us who we are, and they should be valued.

4. The exhaustion factor

Between everything going on in life and working crazy hours, I have no desire to be fully made-up every single morning. Sometimes I like throwing my hair up in a bun and wearing my most oversized, comfy sweater. Once my smile is on, I have all I need.

If feeling comfortable in your own skin isn’t considered beautiful, I don’t know what is.

5. The comparison

Please, please, please do not compare yourself to any of the people portrayed on your Instagram feed. These are images of people who are hired to look/act/do things a certain way. It is not realistic. Again, take it at face-value—that’s all it is.

6. That money, money, money

Seriously, don’t go broke for buying items you don’t need because social media tells you it’s supposed to be cool. What’s actually cool is not spending a fortune on random objects and owing a big bank somewhere a lot of money. You’re already a badass without all the extra stuff…

7. You are enough.

Don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel that you or the things you have are not enough. You are perfect just the way you are. You are beautiful. You are talented. You are intelligent. You are the perfect version of yourself.

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Feel like you’re missing out on your life because of social media? Read up on why it’s important to unplug

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xx,

Paula

Seven Reasons Why You Are Enough

No matter what anyone says, you are enough.

For several years, mostly when I was younger, I felt as though I needed a special someone to feel complete. To help me feel whole. The thought of having someone else around to love, laugh, and explore with was so near and dear to my heart. But over time, I learned something different…

Between failed relationships, and even more failed relationships, I found that I was taking time to work on myself. To improve my life. To work on my goals. And yes, even though I still wanted a partner, a love that was so amazing that my heart would burst from all of the joy, I learned that I was everything I ever needed. 

Growing into the person you hope to be is not a small task. All of the shit you go through in life, whether it be loss, broken relationships, family issues, money issues, or addiction, you come out of it with a set of skills and the knowledge needed to be better. This is something that no one can ever take away from you, or give you. These life lessons are yours, and only yours.

So what makes you enough? Actually, let me rephrase that—what would keep you from being enough?

You are a person with a great deal of knowledge, strength, and courage. You stand tall in the world, and you are the best version of yourself. Not to mention, you are independent, you are alive, and you are thriving. Even if you are in a great relationship, you know that, no matter what, you can make it on your own. This person is in your life because you want them there, not because you need them there.

Regardless of what society tells you about needing to have a partner, a relationship, or a marriage, you don’t. Yes, being in a relationship with the right person can be great, but what you really need is to be your own person, to love yourself, to know who you are, and to feel that you are enough. 

Here’s why you’re enough:

1. You are intelligent

You are beyond intelligent. You’ve created this beautiful life for yourself, and you are absolutely capable of making informed decisions. You continually work on being the best version of yourself. If that’s not smart, I don’t know what is. You are badass.

2. You are independent

Whether flying solo or not, you are independent. You’re on your own. You manage your life, and you’re effing awesome at it. You run the show, and you are very much on top of things. Again, badass.

3. You have meaningful relationships 

Having people that you love and care for is crucial. These relationships can be with friends, family, or colleagues. Love is love. You are there for those that are important to you, and are capable of accepting the love and care that they provide you as well.

4. You are reaching your goals

Whether it’s career goals, school goals, or special training, you are working towards something! You are building a life for yourself, and focusing on something you absolutely love. You are able to stand on your own two feet and take care of mind, body, and soul.

5. You are healthy 

You take care of yourself and focus on your overall wellness. Having a well-balanced life is so important, and maintaining that mind-body connection makes all of the difference. Keep learning, keep growing, keep thriving.

6. You are strong

The fact that you have overcome whatever it is that life has handed you thus far is evidence that you are strong. You continue to move forward, and push through any hurdles encountered on the road called life. Your ability to stay motivated is so powerful, and you should constantly be reminded of your courage and bravery.

7. You are enough

No matter what anyone might say, you are enough. Some will try to make you feel small, and try to make you feel that without them you are nothing. THIS IS NOT TRUE. You are able to provide for yourself, love and care for others, and continually grow as an individual. All of the things that you do only require you, and no one else.

You are wonderful, you are smart, and you are kind. Love yourself because there are so many people out there who love and adore you too. And if someone doesn’t appreciate how great you are, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life. Stay motivated, stay strong, and never allow another being to tell you you’re not worth it.

You are enough.

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xx,

Paula

Love Happens When You Least Expect It

Love happens when you least expect it.

Love is one of those things that we all hope for. Falling in love has been modeled to us for years in fairytales, films, and even in real life. I always knew I would someday find my knight in shining Armani…at least until I didn’t know.

After having gone twenty-nine years with failed relationship after failed relationship, I hit a point where I no longer wanted to fall in love with someone else.

What I needed was to fall in love with myself.

I took a break from dating and spent the majority of my time doing things that I liked—things that I was doing for me. I spent more time with my family and friends, I traveled, I continued to develop my career, and I enjoyed the little things.

I was happy.

I was excited about life, and I was grateful for how full my life was. I was motivated, and I was looking at the world through a new lens.

I realized that the moment I stopped focusing on what was lacking in my life, was the moment I was able to see just how lucky I was. I was surrounded by wonderful people who cared about me, and I was living a life that I had only dreamt of.

Positivity.

Having a positive outlook on life completely changed my perspective. It made all the difference. I was so grateful for the opportunity to appreciate the things life had provided me. With this, I became more open to the unknown, to new experiences, and also to love.  

Little did I know, but all of the positivity I had been feeling was radiating to those around me. I found myself constantly surrounded by people who were pleasant and vibrant, and before I knew it, love found me.

When I least expected it, the man of the dreams walked into my life.

You know that knight in shining Armani that I had been waiting for my whole life? Yeah, him. He walked through the door and everything changed. I mean, he wasn’t in Armani, but Ted Baker had never looked so good on a man…

Energies attract like energies. It’s the law of attraction. I hadn’t been ready for him because I needed to learn to focus on other aspects of my life—the good things, the little things, the things that brought me joy. I needed to realize that I was enough. When I took the time to work on myself, truly love myself, and take a step back to see just how lucky I was…life sent me exactly what I needed.

It’s not about the destination, but about the journey.

Trust life. Trust the process. When the time is right, you will be provided with exactly what you need. In the meantime, enjoy the ride and appreciate the lessons learned.

Remember, you are always enough…

xx,

Paula