COVID-19: Dating from a Distance

As if dating wasn’t already hard enough, COVID-19 has caused basically the entire world to go into quarantine and follow rules of social distancing. How the hell are you supposed keep dating when you can’t leave your house or be around people you don’t already live with? This is truly a dilemma, right?

Well, not quite…

The other night my husband and I were on a group facetime chat with our two closest friends, who both happen to be single. I had mentioned that this is actually the perfect time for dating because it’s almost like a season of Netflix’s Love is Blind, but without the pods, weddings, and tropical vacations. While not being able to get out there and get physical, you have an actual chance to really get to know someone. 

I mean, besides having lots of extra time to spend chatting away and asking each other questions, this opportunity is one in a million. Although it isn’t exactly the same as meeting someone in person, talking on the phone or chatting via video can tell you a lot about who your date is. I know that the physical chemistry between two people can’t fully be felt over a video chat, but watching someone’s movements, motions, and mannerisms can help you gauge who that person is and if the attraction is there. 

Not to mention, this is an incredibly safe way to first “meet” some. A great deal of risk and potential danger is now removed from the equation. Wanting to chat on the phone or FaceTime prior to physically meeting someone based on comfort level is no longer something that needs to be addressed. Virtual dating is currently the new norm—let’s embrace it!

So how do you continue dating, keep things interesting and fun, and get to know someone without physically meeting? 

Check out these 11 ideas on how to date from a distance…

Coffee date

Just like any first date (or many dates thereafter), enjoying a coffee together is a great way to feel each other out. Make a latte or some tea and sit in your favorite chair while you chat with your date. 

Play a game

Whether you’re playing a card game, Hangman, or Charades on either side of the screen, or competing to see who can finish the New York Times crossword puzzle faster, do something that can help you connect. Not only are activities similar to this fun, but they allow you to see a different side of each other—also these types of pastimes can potentially help you create traditions if things work out in the long run. 

Virtual museum tours

Let’s get real—nothing is better than a museum date!! Several museums around the world are offering virtual tours. Imagine that you are side-by-side, hand-in-hand at the Louvre exploring and being taken away by all the beauty around you…  

Netflix and chill

Choose a show or movie to watch together and start it at the same time. For a limited time, HBO is offering 500 hours of free access to movies and shows. Get your viewing on, share your thoughts, and laugh the night away!

Cook a meal together

Just because you can’t be in the same kitchen doesn’t mean that you can’t cook together. Plan for a meal that you both like and follow the steps while on a video chat. Cooking together isn’t just fun, it’s also intimate. Besides, watching someone cook can teach you a lot about who they are.

Grub

Ah, the best part of any day! Whether you cooked together or not, have a dinner date. Light some candles, savor a cocktail, and enjoy your meal together. 

Dance it out

Have a dance party or a dance off! ‘Nough said.

Get creative

Engaging in creative activities can be both fun and relaxing. Consider a wine + paint night or attempting to draw silly comics for one another. Or how about taking an art class together? MoMA is now offering free art courses via Coursera. You can take each course at a pace you desire, discuss topics, and share ideas. Nikon is also offering free photography courses for a limited time. Whatever you choose to do to fully embrace your artsy side, get silly, get colorful, get creative, learn, and enjoy! 

Date night

Just because you can’t go out for date night, doesn’t mean you can’t have one! Get dressed up and set a date. Have a drink together or enjoy a charcuterie board. Even though my husband and I live together and technically have a date night every night, we like to dress up one evening out of the week and have a planned date night. It really does feel different, and it’s quite special <3

Travel

Travel is one of those topics that never gets old. Talk about places you want to go, places you’ve been, and places where you had weird, exciting encounters. Share your experiences and your hopes about the world. Travel to places far and wide without even getting up off the couch! 

Find joy

Even though we’re all stuck at home trying to save the world 6-feet at a time, there is beauty in every single day. Ask him what the best part of his day was and share yours. Ask what she was most grateful for today. Unveiling the small joys in your lives can help build both intimacy and connection. This too, will show you what your date values the most. 

Dating is not impossible during this time of social distancing and quarantine. COVID-19 messed up a lot of things, but this doesn’t have to be one of them. Stay safe and well, and remember, STAY HOME!! <3 

COVID-19: Dating from a Distance

Feeling weird about not meeting your date in person? Check out why dating should be about more than instant gratification…

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xx,

Paula

Social Distancing: 11 Ways to Stay Sane While Quarantined

Social distancing is incredibly necessary right now. What we’re facing with COVID-19 (Coronoavirus) is absolutely terrifying. Who would have ever imagined that the year 2020 would bring a pandemic? But here we are! 

A great deal of information and guidelines have been provided by incredible agencies, such as the Center for Disease Control (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO), and social distancing appears to be our best chance at flattening the curve.

Stopping the rapid spread of this virus is our responsibility, and by staying at home and keeping our distance from others in our communities, no matter how young or old we are, we are doing our part to literally save lives. YAY for being responsible! 

Not being able to grab brunch with the bestie, attend yoga class, go to work, or grab a beer on St. Paddy’s day is a real bummer. BUT IT’S OKAY! 

Because of the fear and panic that can be associated with a pandemic, it is important to engage in activities that help ease anxiety and improve overall mental health. 

While social distancing, consider these 11 activities to help you stay sane while quarantined:

Rest

Let’s get real—life is busy! Use this time as an opportunity to catch up on rest and sleep. Lie on the couch or bed all day and give your body the TLC that it deserves. A mani/pedi or facemask can’t hurt either!

Mindful meditation is also an excellent way to rest and ease the mind. There are plenty of excellent apps available, including Headspace, who is waiving service fees at this time, and Calm, who has also created free resources for COVID-19 as well.

Read

Because this is such a scary time, it may be helpful to get lost in a good book. Allow your mind to joyfully wander and imagine anything and everything—let the story take you to a new world—to a new life—and take it all in!

Learn

Was there ever something you always wanted to learn but felt like you never had the time? Well, there’s no time better than now! 

Want to learn French? Or to play the guitar? Or better understand physics? Want to learn how to refinish a vintage dresser? Or how to build a plant wall? Ever been curious about what it would be like to take a class at an IVY League University for FREE? The time is now, friend. You got this!

Explore

Even though we can’t be outside, there are so many places to explore! Many museums, national parks, vineyards, etc. are providing free virtual tours of their grounds. Check out the individual websites of places you’ve been interested in visiting to see if this option is available.

Enjoy the arts

Whether you’re writing, painting, drawing, coloring, reading poetry, or creating a new floral arrangement, find a way to enjoy the arts! Consider streaming Broadway musicals and plays for free too! Between bright, beautiful colors, musicals, and the light stroke of a pen, you will definitely notice a decrease in anxious feelings.

Netflix and chill

Enjoy all of the incredible entertainment platforms available. Between HBO, Hulu, Netflix, and many other streaming platforms, the options are truly endless. As of Friday, March 20th, 2020, Universal will be making current theatrical films available for home viewing as well.

Binge watching my go-to shows, Sex and the City and Friends, has been incredibly helpful for me. What’s your go-to show? Make a list and remember to include titles that spark joy, comfort, and laughter too!

Music

Music is suitable for any mood, anytime. Listening to music can be fun, relaxing, and enjoyable all at once. Make a playlist of your favorite jams and give it a play to help decrease anxiety and stress levels, and perhaps to spark some joy as well…

Get your dance on

While you’re at it, make a dance playlist! Dance it out—get all the feels and energy out by jumping around and moving your body. This can help release tension and stress, and it’s super fun! Don’t forget to channel Meredith Grey and Christina Yang (the twisted sisters) while you’re dancing it out!

Limit access to social media

It is of the utmost importance to stay informed, but social media isn’t always the most accurate place to read up on the latest news. Be sure to get your information from credible sources. Currently, the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times have allowed free access to their publications. Also, please consider utilizing the CDC and your local county website as reliable, helpful sources. 

Digital interaction

Schedule virtual dates with your loved ones! Whether for morning coffee, a silly card game, dinner, or to simultaneously watch a movie, share time together. Chat, laugh, and enjoy the company! Just because we need to be physically isolated, but not mean that we need to be socially isolated.

Get lit

Living through something like this is super frightening, so don’t forget to find the shining light amongst the darkness. Find a way to laugh each day, several times a day, and know that things will be okay. Remain hopeful. Remain joyful. Stay connected. At the end of the day, all we have is one another…

Wishing everyone health, safety, and love during this difficult time <3

Not sure how to cope when life unexpectedly punches you in the stomach? Read up on how to cope when things change drastically and quickly…

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xx,

Paula

The Importance of Connection

Connection is one of the most beautiful aspects of life and it is fading away right before our eyes. I just had my 32nd birthday, and it occurred to me just how great it is to interact with others. Whether it’s a quick conversation with a stranger on the street while our dogs say hello, or having a chat with my favorite barista, the ability to connect with another human being is both meaningful and rewarding. To hear their story or learn more about who they are provides the opportunity to see someone in a different light…what a lovely way to live…

The issue, however, is that our ability to connect decreases juuuuust a little bit more each and every time we glance down at our phones during a conversation, or text someone vs. call, or look away when passing a stranger instead of smiling. We don’t realize that connection, as we know it, is becoming obsolete, and it’s pretty devastating. 

Connection allows us to bond with others; to attach to others and build relationships. Let’s imagine just for a moment what life would look like if we didn’t have connection anymore? Where would we be without the people in our lives? Connection supports us in expanding our circles by welcoming good people and good vibes, by building stronger bonds with others, and also by learning more about ourselves.

So, what makes connection so important? And how can we continually increase and appreciate the connections we build? 

Let’s consider these 7 concepts…

Be human

Sometimes life can get so crazy that we forget what it’s like to be human. To empathize with others; to convey kindness and love. Building connection allows you to open your heart and remember how important being compassionate to others really is…

Be kind

…speaking on kindness, this is the easiest way to connect with another person. Holding the door open, helping an elderly person with their grocery bags, or simply saying “thank you” are mere examples of how we can show kindness and appreciation. It really is the little things that matter the most.

Ask questions

When engaging with another person, ask questions. Get to know them. Learn about who they are. It’s rather special to become acquainted with someone new, especially if they’re totally different than you are. Each person you encounter is unique and can teach you something valuable…

Be genuine

When you’re getting to know someone, be genuine. Ask questions you actually want answered and remember not to be judgmental. Everyone is different and should be accepted just as they are. 

Be present 

I cannot stress this enough—be present when you’re with others. Give them your undivided attention and show them how glad you are to be spending time with them. Nothing says “I don’t want to be here” more than your mind, eyes, and conversation being elsewhere.

Embrace the moment

Being present isn’t just about who you’re spending time with, but it’s also about you. Allow yourself to embrace the moment—to take in the experience. Enjoy yourself and immerse your heart in the laughter, love, and joy that’s flowing through the room. There is nothing more beautiful than being with the people you love and making new memories…

Pay attention

Put down your device and notice the energy in the room. Notice how you’re feeling, as well as how you’re making someone else feel. Pay attention to the beauty of connection and enjoy every second of the interaction…

Not sure if you’re fully present when with your partner? Check out these 7 ways to be present and strengthen the connection in your relationship…

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xx,

Paula

7 Ways to Sustain Gratitude This Holiday Season

Gratitude is difficult to come by when you’re in full-blown holiday mode. From shopping, to wrapping, to decorating, your hands are always busy. Although lit, shiny, and bright, the holidays can sometimes bring out to the worst in people. Being so busy and overwhelmed is never pleasant, especially when aunt Millie and uncle Bob are all up in your space.

Amid all the late-night errands, drama, and chaos the holidays gift us with, there’s always room to sustain gratitude. Practicing mindfulness is important all-year ‘round, but it is particularly vital during the holiday season. Regardless of the madness, be sure to take a moment to look around at all the beauty and wonder that this season brings.

Consider these 7 tips to help you sustain gratitude this holiday season:

Take some solo time

Surrounded by family? No big deal. Take some solo time to make sure that you can recharge. Still not possible? Consider a 10-minute solo break every few hours. Whether you’re stepping outside for a quick walk or enjoying a bubble bath with a glass of wine, embrace your space and wellness.

Practice self-care

In order to sustain your sanity during this time of year, make sure that you are taking care of yourself. If you feel rested and cared for, you can better pass that care on to others. Get a massage or have a glass of eggnog while eating your favorite mint-chocolate-covered pretzels. Whatever it is, be sure to give yourself a generous amount of TLC this season.

Acknowledge and release negative feelings

Negative emotions such as anger, impatience, and frustration can sometimes cause us to overlook the beauty of the holidays. Acknowledge your feelings.It’s okay to feel however you need to feel, but don’t allow those emotions to push out the joy. Do your best to let go of those feelings. Take big, deep breaths to breatheeeee out the negativity.

Make a list

Feeling like you really want to punch cousin Susanne in the throat? Can’t remember why you ever invited your friends or family over in the first place? Make a list! Jot down 1) all the things you are grateful for, 2) why you love your family, and 3) how lovely it is to spend the holiday surrounded by the people you love. Remindyourself why this is such a great time of the year and take it all in!

Be Kind

During all of the chaos and stressful moments, we can sometimes forget our manners. Be kind to others, no matter who, or where, or how ridiculous the situation is, be kind. Kindness can go a long way and you’ll recognize when you’ve made someone’s day a lot better.

Spread love

Spread love like confetti. Seriously. There is no better feeling than showing the people that matter most just how much you love and care about them. Whether giving out an endless number of hugs and kisses, making someone laugh, or simply getting to know everyone just a little bit better, share your joy and spread love.

Make your gratitude known

Say it loud and proud! Let the people who matter the most know how much they mean to you. Whether written in a card, in a text, or sealed with a kiss, make it known. Expressing gratitude can help you embrace the love and joy your loved ones bring you.

‘Tis the season for joy and togetherness. Eat, drink, laugh, love, and enjoy yourself! Happy Holidays!

holiday | gratitude | grateful | self-care | wellness

Feeling lonely and wanting to reach out to your ex? Here are 7 reasons you shouldn’t get back with an ex over the holidays…

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xx,

Paula

Relationships: What it Means to Have a Partner that Cares

Having a partner that cares can truly change the success of a relationship. How can you be with someone that doesn’t care, right? Umm hello, of course I have a partner that cares about me! Well, yes, but how does your partner care? I believe that there are two types of care: the selfish conditional care, and the selfless unconditional care.

The selfish, conditional care will leave you with a partner who only wants to do the best for you when it’s also the best for him. This means a lack in sacrifice, compromise, and care unless your partner will also benefit. Whereas, the selfless, unconditional care provides a very different picture.

Relationships are a partnership, and sometimes sacrifices and compromises need to be made in order to help the other person reach their goals or manage obligations. When you have a partner that cares and is sometimes willing to place your needs before her own, and vice versa, you will notice a shift in how the relationship functions. Caring for one another, selflessly, allows for an openness and kindness that will lead to fulfillment.

To truly care for another person and receive that type of care softens the soul. Being with a partner that is selfish overall, but especially in the way that he cares for you, can be destructive. I’ve been there, and I’ve walked away from that. It’s awful knowing that your partner is doing things out of obligation, or because there is something he can gain.

Being with someone who genuinely wants you to succeed and be the best version of yourself, and supports those efforts, even if it requires her to compromise, is what real, raw, unconditional, selfless care is all about. When both partners are able to do this, they become an unstoppable pair. Conditional, selfish care doesn’t provide either of you the opportunity to grow and love one another to the best of your ability.

Here’s how to provide your partner with selfless, unconditional care: 

Tender love and care

Caring about someone with all of your heart is free. It is beautiful, and it will open you up to so much more. Be there with and for your partner, and know that anything is possible if you work together.

Listen

Learning about your partners needs and what is most important to him can help you better know how to help. Sometimes simple words of encouragement or a hug are all that’s necessary. Regardless of how big or small, learn what your partner needs and do your best to help.

Give

Give your relationship all you’ve got because you want to. Give your partner what she needs and don’t hesitate. The benefits are worth it.

Support

Stand by one another, in the good times and the bad. Being there for each other will help strengthen your relationship and teach you a lot about one another.

Boundaries

Even though it’s important to provide selfless and unconditional love and care, make sure that you are also taking care of yourself. If a compromise is just too big and may be harmful to your wellness, it’s okay to set a boundary and say no.

When this happens, sit down with your partner and discuss a possible compromise. What can work for the both of you? How can you both meet each other’s needs and still have your own needs met? Listen, talk, cooperate, agree. Working together will only strengthen your bond and connection…

care | relationships | unconditional love | support | selfless

Is your partner going through a rough patch and need some extra TLC? Check out these tips on how to better support your partner…

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xx,

Paula

Relationships and the Need for Control

Ever feel like you need to be in control of everything in your life? This has most likely happened to the best of us. The need for control is not because you’re a control freak, or because you’re OCD, it’s because you need to secure safety for yourself. 

Needing to feel in control in relationships has a lot to do with a sense of safety as well. I was sitting on the couch with my boyfriend the other night, and we were trying to figure out our plan for the weekend. I looked over at him and said, “we can do whatever you want.”This is very much unlike me, especially when it comes to relationships and decision making.

As I noticed this change in my behavior, I started to think about why this was happening. Was it because I didn’t want to deal with making plans? No. Was it because I wasn’t interested in the potential plan? No.Then it hit me! I left the plans up to him because I trusted him to make the right decision for the both of us. I knew that I did not need to interject in order to ensure that my needs were also met.

I’ve got to say, this was kind of a breakthrough…

Never before had I been this way in a relationship. I always wanted to be involved in making plans—I always wanted to know exactly what was happening. Why, you might ask? Because I didn’t feel secure. I didn’t feel safe enough in previous relationships to trust that my partner would take care of me.

Do you need to be in constant control in your relationship, but weren’t sure why? Here are some things that might be causing that…

5 things that might be contributing to your constant need of control:

Trust

It’s really simple: trust is key. If you feel that you constantly need to be in control, it’s probably because you don’t wholeheartedly trust your partner. Trust is crucial to the success of a relationship, so if this is an issue, you may need to reconsider if this is the right person for you…

Safety

The most basic part of life is making sure that our needs are met. This includes feeling safe. If you are unsure about your partner’s ability to keep you out of harm’s way, I don’t blame you for feeling the need to constantly be in charge of things.

If this is the case in your relationship, talk to your partner. Explain what causes you to feel unsafe, and request that they respect and honor it. If you find that this works, it may help you gain trust for your partner.

Consideration 

If you need to be in control because your partner doesn’t consider your needs when making decisions, this is a problem. More than anything, our partners should know what it is that we need to feel safe and happy and be able to incorporate this into your life as a joint couple. If you are constantly required to fight and advocate for yourself, this may not be the healthiest relationship for you…

Questioning

Questioning someone’s choices usually means that you don’t agree with what they’re doing. If you regularly wonder if your partner was in her right mind when making life decisions for herself, as well as for the two of you, this can lead to conflict in your relationship.

Being responsible 

Are you always needing to be the responsible one? Making sure things are taken care of, and that bothyou and your partner have things in order? It’s not fun being your partner’s parent, is it? Relationships are meant to be partnerships, where both parties are able to contribute to the relationship and support one another.

Know that things can be different. You can find a love that is brilliant and incredible, all while equally taking care of each other. Trust truly is at the foundation of any relationship, and if it’s not strong enough to hold the two of you up, your relationship will collapse.

Be with someone who can carry you sometimes—be with someone who you trust enough to decide what’s for dinner and what movie you are going to watch—be with someone who can make you feel safe enough to not sweat the small and big stuff. Be with someone who loves you like Kanye loves Kanye…

Feeling stuck in your relationship and not sure what to do? Consider these 7 things…

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xx,

Paula

7 Ways to Avoid Rushing Your Relationships

Falling in love and building strong relationships is arguably one of the most beautiful aspects of being alive. Relationships fill us with happiness and provide us with a companion—a best friend—to share our lives with. What greater gift is there?

The gift of love is one to cherish. What if, however, not all relationships are created equal? What if some relationships move slower than we hope? What if some relationships aren’t necessarily where we expect them to be? What if some relationships can’t provide us with what we want right then and there? There’s always a “next step” to take when it comes to relationships, whether you’re ready to move in, get engaged, tie the knot, or start a family. So, what do you do?

As they say, patience is a virtue. Sometimes the best thing you can do is wait. If you and your partner are invested, compatible, and truly happy, taking a step back to enjoy the ride and allow your relationship to take its course organically is your best option. Love is not meant to be rushed; relationships are not meant to be planned. Natural progression is definitely the goal. Wonder why? Let’s talk about it…

7 Ways to Avoid Rushing Your Relationships:

Timing is everything

Like life, relationships are all about timing. Your relationship is successful because you met at the right time, were at the right place in your life, and you were ready for the type of commitment you were both seeking. So, don’t rush. Let life take the lead, and in due time, when it’s the right time, your relationship will move into the next steps.

Live in the moment

Enjoy where you are in your relationship. Whether it’s the early stages, planning your wedding, or expecting your first child, enjoy every second. Time is so valuable, and it is not meant to be taken for granted. Things can change in an instant, so enjoy where you and your partner are today…

Go with the flow

Allow the universe to guide you and your partner in the right direction. See what adventures life takes you on. As long as you’re on the same page, go with the flow.

Don’t compare

You take a look around and literally allof your friends and their mothers are getting engaged, married, or having babies—and you’re not. It can feel awful to be behind-on-the-times, but remember, you are living for you, so don’t compare yourself or your relationshipto anyone else

Marriage isn’t for everyone

Due to societal pressures, marriageis always the expectation. Just because society tells us to wear a white dress and walk down the aisle, doesn’t mean we have to. Putting a ring on your finger doesn’t make a commitment stronger, only two people who love each other can do that. Plus, weddings are SUPER pricey…so take your time.

Trust the process

Know that the universe is looking out for you. Know that your partner has your best interest at heart. Know that things will progress just as they need to, when they need to. Trust the process.

Believe in your relationship

Love your partner to the fullest and put all that you’ve got into making your relationship as healthy and fulfilling as possible. Be happy, be present, be in love. Believe in your relationship.  

relationships | love | rushing | trust | timing

Wanting to improve communication and be more mindful in your relationship? Check out these tips on how to be present…

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xx,

Paula

Law of Attraction: How Changing Your Perspective Can Change Your Life

Perspective is everything. Life is so busy that you’re constantly in auto-mode. You spin your wheels daily, and it’s not until things hit the fan that you slam on the brakes and take a look around. Do you recognize your life? Do you recognize yourself?

I recently found out that layoffs are coming at work. Even though my wheels were spinning just fine, I was stopped dead in my tracks. I have been doing this for so long I had never considered what would happen if I had to move on to something else. As I was trying to envision where the universe would lead me, it’s as though light entered my life.

I had an opportunity—a moment—to just stop and put things into perspective. I am so lucky to have this job that I adore, but what if there’s more that I’m meant to do? So I started to think…what is it that I want for myself? Will it be good for me and others? Will I be happy and healthy? How do I find what I’m meant to do? How do I get there?

Taking time to envision a different life for myself was incredible. I forgot how wonderful it felt to dream—to wish, to hope, to wonder. Suddenly, I realized that it’s the things that we attract that will come to us.

So how do we get from A to Z? From simple desires to actions? How can changing your perspective and the law of attraction change your life? Check out these ideas…

Perspective 

First thing’s first: change your perceptive. Rather than seeing a situation as something negative, try to envision how this event could positively change your life—consider the endless opportunities that might become available to you.

Gratitude 

No matter the situation, always be grateful for what you have. The more gratitude you show the universe, the more the universe will provide. Stay positive.

Think

Take time to think about what you truly desire. I’m not just talking about that new Chanel wallet you’re eyeing, but rather, the things that will bring joy to your life, and peace to your heart. Consider if what you want benefits both you and others. Will it help you become a better version of yourself?

Envision that desire and see it all the way through. Sit with your thoughts—imagine yourself reaching those goals. If needed, create a vision board to remind you of what you want most in life.

Manifest

Once you’ve figured out what it is that you desire, manifest it. See it. Feel it. Touch it. Envision what it would be like if that was your life. Try to see yourself where you want to be without worrying about how you’ll get it…

Bye Felicia

And by Felicia, I mean negativity. If anything negative stands in the way of your hopes and desires, get rid of it. Whether it’s toxic people, old photos of your abusive ex, or even your own negative thoughts, it’s got to go. Cleanse.

Set intentions

Set your intentions, whether verbally, written, etc. Be sure that what you desire is out in the open. Keep an open mind and an open heart, and the universe will respond.

Timing

Timing is also very important. At the end of the day, there is a larger plan for each of us. Just because something isn’t happening right now, doesn’t mean it won’t happen. Trust the universe to give you what you need exactly when you need it…

Believe

Most importantly believe that it will happen. Trust that the universe will provide. Visualize your future, your happiness, your desires. Know that the universe has your back…

life | perspective | law of attraction | positive thinking | intentions

When life changes drastically, sometimes you have to trust the universe and learn to let go…

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xx,

Paula

The Importance of Being Present in Your Relationship

Being present in your relationship is crucial to its success as it allows you to actually be in the moment with your partner. Not only does being present impact the longevity of your relationship, but it influences your happiness as well. Being present provides you with a level of connection needed to truly embrace and recognize your love for another, and to also help remind you of the reasons in which you love this individual.

I decided to write about this topic after I spent two weeks traveling with my boyfriend. We had the greatest time. Yes, we took pictures, and yes, we communicated with family and friends, but I believe much of our enjoyment came from engaging one another throughout the trip. We did not need to unplug in order to be mindful of our time together. We laughed, we played, we explored, we were present. We focused on each other and our surroundings, and we took in the beauty of our adventure together, side by side.

Being present is a gift—a gift that allows one to experience a moment, be aware of that occurrence, and take it in. Sharing memories with the person you love should not be taken for granted, but rather, they should be cherished, protected, and safely placed in your heart and mind.

Do you find that you are your partner are able to connect? What does it feel like when the two of you share a special moment? Is there more that you can do? If you find that you and your partner are disconnected, how can you improve and strengthen your bond? Let’s talk about…

7 ways to be present and strengthen connection in your relationship:

Communicate

The most important aspect of any dynamic duo is communication. Talk to each other. Ask questions, share stories, express feelings, be present.

Make eye contact

This simple act can help remind you why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Look at each other. Share a moment where you’re focused on one another. Gaze into your partner’s soul, and allow them to look into yours. Eye contact is a true form of intimacy…give it a shot.

Stop and listen

Take time to listen to your partner. Don’t think of what you should say next, but be present and pay attention to the words being said. Sometimes it’s the simplest gestures that can help the person across the room feel valued and heard.

Alone time

Make it a priority to spend time alone—just the two of you. Whether it’s a weekend getaway, spending a day at the local museum, or having a picnic at the park, take time to embrace your love and commitment to one another.

Be intimate

Intimacy comes in many shapes and sizes, but holding hands while walking down the street, hugging one another as you wait for the train, or simply smiling from across the room, can all be a very profound form of intimacy. It’s a way to let your partner know that you’re thinking of them, and that you seek closeness…

Share space

Share space, whether it’s sharing a home, sharing a cab, or sharing your heart. Be respectful, be kind, and let your partner in. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Allow yourself to trust. With self-exposure comes great connection. Opening up can sometimes be difficult, so do it when you’re ready, but know that the benefits to your relationship will be gratifying…

Be mindful

A significant part of being present is being mindful. Be considerate of your partner. Be attentive; be aware. Be careful with the heart and feelings of your other half. Caring about and for one another will also deepen your bond and further strengthen your relationship.

Committing to another person isn’t just about a title or a ring—it’s not just about having someone to call your person. Commitment is about being there for the big moments, the hard times, and the nights with the couch, a box of pizza, and Netflix. Enjoy the bond in which you have built, and nurture it. Take care of love, as it is as easily lost as it is found…

being present | relationships | commitment | mindfulness | communication

Feeling stuck in your relationship? Check out these 7 ways to get yourself unstuck…

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xx,

Paula

Valentine’s Day: What Celebrating Love is All About

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate important relationships and love. Valentine’s Day has always been one that I was fond of, even if celebrating as a single lady. Galentine’s day is too much fun for words, as is celebrating with your siblings.

Whether involved or celebrating solo, the same Valentine’s traditions take place. You grab a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, pop some popcorn, and search for the sappiest rom-com that’s streaming. Cuddling with a heart shaped-pillow is a must, along with feeling super cozy in your PJ’s and organic, panda facemask.

Or, on the flip side, you’re out on the town with your beau celebrating over a fancy dinner with intricate desserts and bubbly so good it tickles your nose. You get super fancy because love has no price, right? RIGHT! But what if these traditions don’t quite capture what love is about? What if the “love” we are celebrating, or how we have been socialized to celebrate Valentine’s Day, doesn’t represent what love actually means to us?

Love is so much bigger than the one-day celebration known as Valentine’s Day. Love is this massive, undefined, unconditional, beautiful feeling that is comprised of light and happiness. How can one single day signify how much you love someone?

Valentine’s Day can represent many different things; some may go above and beyond, while others may choose to avoid the holiday. Regardless of how you choose to celebrate, remember that there is so much more to love…

Here’s what celebrating love should be about:

Celebrate love every day

Valentine’s Day should be a simple reminder that love should be celebrated year ‘round. Whether telling your boyfriend you love him, bringing flowers home for your girlfriend, or surprising your wife by cleaning the kitchen floor, you can show the people you love just how much you love them each and every day…

Consider the simple things

Love doesn’t need to be shown via insanely extravagant gestures—love can be as simple as kissing your partner on the nose, or holding hands, or bringing home soup if he has the sniffles. In love, it’s the simple things that matter the most. In love, it’s the little gestures that mean the most.

Remember why

Remember why you love your partner and the many people in your life. Remind yourself daily of just how lucky you are to love, and receive love, from your social network. In order to appreciate love, you must be able to acknowledge and understand it.

You are loved

Along with reminding yourself of why you love others, also remember that you are loved. Many people hold you near-and-dear to their hearts and feel lucky to have you as an active part of their lives. Remember that.

Love yourself

First and foremost, love yourself. Loving others is such a significant part of life, but so is self-love. Embrace your energy and power, and truly value who you are. There’s no greater love than love for oneself…

Spread love like confetti

I believe that love is like karma—what goes around comes around. Spread love. The more love you put out into the universe, the more love you will receive in return. Whether smiling at a stranger, or giving your dog a hug, spread love.

Love is everywhere

Love is everywhere, and it’s important to recognize that. Embrace love. Love is taken for granted, but rather, it should be valued cherished. Really take it in and open your heart to it, regardless of where it’s coming from. Let love, and be love…

Valentine's Day | Valentine | Love | Relationships | Dating | Celebrate

Want to work on increasing self-love? Check out these 10 tips to help you learn to love yourself…

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xx,

Paula

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