Tag: support

Relationships: What it Means to Have a Partner that Cares

Having a partner that cares can truly change the success of a relationship. How can you be with someone that doesn’t care, right? Umm hello, of course I have a partner that cares about me! Well, yes, but how does your partner care? I believe that there are two types of care: the selfish conditional care, and the selfless unconditional care.

The selfish, conditional care will leave you with a partner who only wants to do the best for you when it’s also the best for him. This means a lack in sacrifice, compromise, and care unless your partner will also benefit. Whereas, the selfless, unconditional care provides a very different picture.

Relationships are a partnership, and sometimes sacrifices and compromises need to be made in order to help the other person reach their goals or manage obligations. When you have a partner that cares and is sometimes willing to place your needs before her own, and vice versa, you will notice a shift in how the relationship functions. Caring for one another, selflessly, allows for an openness and kindness that will lead to fulfillment.

To truly care for another person and receive that type of care softens the soul. Being with a partner that is selfish overall, but especially in the way that he cares for you, can be destructive. I’ve been there, and I’ve walked away from that. It’s awful knowing that your partner is doing things out of obligation, or because there is something he can gain.

Being with someone who genuinely wants you to succeed and be the best version of yourself, and supports those efforts, even if it requires her to compromise, is what real, raw, unconditional, selfless care is all about. When both partners are able to do this, they become an unstoppable pair. Conditional, selfish care doesn’t provide either of you the opportunity to grow and love one another to the best of your ability.

Here’s how to provide your partner with selfless, unconditional care: 

Tender love and care

Caring about someone with all of your heart is free. It is beautiful, and it will open you up to so much more. Be there with and for your partner, and know that anything is possible if you work together.

Listen

Learning about your partners needs and what is most important to him can help you better know how to help. Sometimes simple words of encouragement or a hug are all that’s necessary. Regardless of how big or small, learn what your partner needs and do your best to help.

Give

Give your relationship all you’ve got because you want to. Give your partner what she needs and don’t hesitate. The benefits are worth it.

Support

Stand by one another, in the good times and the bad. Being there for each other will help strengthen your relationship and teach you a lot about one another.

Boundaries

Even though it’s important to provide selfless and unconditional love and care, make sure that you are also taking care of yourself. If a compromise is just too big and may be harmful to your wellness, it’s okay to set a boundary and say no.

When this happens, sit down with your partner and discuss a possible compromise. What can work for the both of you? How can you both meet each other’s needs and still have your own needs met? Listen, talk, cooperate, agree. Working together will only strengthen your bond and connection…

care | relationships | unconditional love | support | selfless

Is your partner going through a rough patch and need some extra TLC? Check out these tips on how to better support your partner…

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xx,

Paula

7 Ways to Be a Supportive Partner During Tough Times

We all have ups and downs in life, and being a supportive partner requires a delicate balance. It can be particularly difficult to watch the person you love most go experience hardship. Being a supportive partner through this rough-patch is important to you, but you’re not quite sure how to approach it…

You love your partner to the moon and back, and would literally do anything to end their suffering. Some of us are fixers, while others may choose to sulk in their sorrow prior to engaging in damage control. Regardless of how you handle hardship, you should approach the topic in the same way that your partner chooses to move forward.

Every single person copes differently, and depending on the situation, as well as your partner, you may need to maneuver with caution. Model after your partner. If they’re gung-ho about getting out there and fighting the battle, join them in that confrontation. If they need to take time to think and feel their emotions, feel with them.

Again, there is no right or wrong way to cope or be a supportive partner. What’s most important is remembering that this isn’t about you, it’s about your partner.

Check out these tips on how to support your partner during a difficult time…

Pay attention

Sometimes people aren’t openly willing to share what’s happening. Be sure to pay attention to any changes in behavior. Is she not as talkative? Is he not his cheerful self? Does she look like she’s been crying? Does he seem angry and irritable? These may be signs that something’s up…

Ask questions

If you notice a difference in your partner, ask what’s going on. This will show your partner that you care, and will also provide them the opportunity to talk about it. Be sure not to probe too much, however. Do not push your partner to share if they are not yet comfortable doing so.

Listen

If your partner is ready to share their experience, listen. Don’t judge, and don’t interrupt. Just listen. Verbally talking about thoughts and feelings is a way to process what’s happening—this can be very helpful, especially if your partner is taking time to let things sink in.

Offer help

When we love and care for someone, it’s likely that our first instincts are to help and protect. This may not always be what your partner needs, so be sure to ask how you can be supportive. It’s possible that listening is all the help your partner needs, and that’s okay. If more help is asked for, be sure that it falls within your boundaries too.

Provide encouragement

Remind your partner of how intelligent, kind, and strong he is. Remind her that she is talented and capable of achieving anything. Provide him that delicate push and support he needs, and remind him he has the skills to overcome this, as well as any, roadblock.

Stand united

Help your partner see that you will be there through thick and thin, and that you’ll stay by her side no matter what happens. Let him know how much he means to you.

Hug it out

Physical touch can be very helpful, especially during times of hardship. Research has shown that something as simple as a hug can release happy chemicals in our brain, such as Oxytocin. Not only that, but it will continually strengthen the bond you share. If you feel uncomfortable doing any of the things listed above and only want to give hugs, it’s just as helpful…

Being there for your partner, no matter in what sense, is incredible. Remember to breathe, and everything will work itself out. Stay hopeful, and remember to search for the silver lining…

supportive partner | love | relationships | hardship | communication | support

Still not sure how to convey wanting to be a supportive partner? Check out these tips on how to best communicate with your partner…

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xx,

Paula

Finding the Right Kind of Love Can Be Life-Changing

Finding love isn’t terribly difficult, but finding the right kind of love can be life-changing. We’ve all been in one of those relationships where things look so great on paper, and yeah, you get along, but there’s still something missing. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but deep down in your soul, you know it’s not enough…

This type of love ends up being the worst because you’re constantly trying to avoid that nagging feeling that something’s missing, which causes one to make excuses for negative feelings or bad treatment. At this point you might wonder if this is what true love is actually like? It’s definitely not.

When you finally find the right kind of love, you’ll know it. I used to laugh when my happily-coupled friends would give me the “when you know, you know” speech. I seriously thought it was a joke—until I knew. Being in love isn’t always enough, but being in the right kind of love is key.

So, what makes love right? This is something that varies from person-to-person, but I do believe that there are some general themes we, as a species, need to feel safe and happy.

What makes love the right kind of love?

When love is easy

Loving your partner is easy. You literally love every single thing about him, and you would never want him to change. Perfectly flowing and vibing with another person is unbelievably rare, and it is a definite sign of being in the right kind of love.

Feeling fulfilled

You wake up every morning not wanting anything more in life. Having this person by your side is all that you need. Nothing is missing. Nothing is lacking. Your heart is full.

Feeling safe

Sharing your life with someone you respect, value, and trust, allows you to feel safe. You know that you are there for one another, to care for and support each other. You feel a sense of stability that allows you the comfort to go out into the world and live your own life, but know you have a happy, positive life waiting for you at home too.

Reliability

Knowing that you can count on your other half is vital to the success of any relationship. If your partner is there when things go downhill, he’s a keeper.

Support 

No matter what happens, good or bad, your partner is by your side. This needs to be a two-way street, of course, but knowing that this person will be by your side through thick and thin, is incredible.

Openness

When you and your partner are able to speak freely about anything, all while knowing that the other will listen with open ears and an open-heart, is the epitome of healthy communication. She will hear you, and you two will engage in a discussion rather than a fight. This is gold.

You can be yourself

The beat part of being in a relationship is having those inside jokes. You can be super goofy and weird together, and it’s totally okay. You guys always have fun, even when you’re doing nothing. You want to do everything with her because things are more fun when she’s around. It really doesn’t get any better than that.

Teamwork

Not only is your partner your best friend, but you guys also make a great team. You two are a force to reckon with. No matter what life throws your way, you work together to move past it. Not only that, but you overcome barriers in a way that is supportive of one another, and has the others’ best interest at heart. Nothing can break the two of you…

Loyalty and honesty

You know that your partner will never do anything to break the trust and bond that you share. It’s deep-rooted in your soul, and there is no doubt in your mind that your partner will always be truthful and loyal. Having that peace of mind is priceless.

Loving selflessly

Last but not least, the love that you have for this person is different than any other love you’ve experienced. It’s selfless, it’s wholehearted, and it has no bounds, and it’s mutual. When you find someone who can love you just as much as you love them, if not more, it’s the ultimate blessing.

A love like this is meant to be cherished and nurtured. It is beautiful. It is patient. It is kind. It is life-changing. Treat it as best as you can. Love it like Kanye loves Kanye. And once you find it, don’t let it go…

love | life changing | relationships | support | trust

Still not sure you’ve got the right kind of love? Check out how travelling with your partner before tying the knot can help!

Don’t forget to subscribe and also connect with me on Pinterest, Google+, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter!

xx,

Paula

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