7 Ways to Sustain Gratitude This Holiday Season

Gratitude is difficult to come by when you’re in full-blown holiday mode. From shopping, to wrapping, to decorating, your hands are always busy. Although lit, shiny, and bright, the holidays can sometimes bring out to the worst in people. Being so busy and overwhelmed is never pleasant, especially when aunt Millie and uncle Bob are all up in your space.

Amid all the late-night errands, drama, and chaos the holidays gift us with, there’s always room to sustain gratitude. Practicing mindfulness is important all-year ‘round, but it is particularly vital during the holiday season. Regardless of the madness, be sure to take a moment to look around at all the beauty and wonder that this season brings.

Consider these 7 tips to help you sustain gratitude this holiday season:

Take some solo time

Surrounded by family? No big deal. Take some solo time to make sure that you can recharge. Still not possible? Consider a 10-minute solo break every few hours. Whether you’re stepping outside for a quick walk or enjoying a bubble bath with a glass of wine, embrace your space and wellness.

Practice self-care

In order to sustain your sanity during this time of year, make sure that you are taking care of yourself. If you feel rested and cared for, you can better pass that care on to others. Get a massage or have a glass of eggnog while eating your favorite mint-chocolate-covered pretzels. Whatever it is, be sure to give yourself a generous amount of TLC this season.

Acknowledge and release negative feelings

Negative emotions such as anger, impatience, and frustration can sometimes cause us to overlook the beauty of the holidays. Acknowledge your feelings.It’s okay to feel however you need to feel, but don’t allow those emotions to push out the joy. Do your best to let go of those feelings. Take big, deep breaths to breatheeeee out the negativity.

Make a list

Feeling like you really want to punch cousin Susanne in the throat? Can’t remember why you ever invited your friends or family over in the first place? Make a list! Jot down 1) all the things you are grateful for, 2) why you love your family, and 3) how lovely it is to spend the holiday surrounded by the people you love. Remindyourself why this is such a great time of the year and take it all in!

Be Kind

During all of the chaos and stressful moments, we can sometimes forget our manners. Be kind to others, no matter who, or where, or how ridiculous the situation is, be kind. Kindness can go a long way and you’ll recognize when you’ve made someone’s day a lot better.

Spread love

Spread love like confetti. Seriously. There is no better feeling than showing the people that matter most just how much you love and care about them. Whether giving out an endless number of hugs and kisses, making someone laugh, or simply getting to know everyone just a little bit better, share your joy and spread love.

Make your gratitude known

Say it loud and proud! Let the people who matter the most know how much they mean to you. Whether written in a card, in a text, or sealed with a kiss, make it known. Expressing gratitude can help you embrace the love and joy your loved ones bring you.

‘Tis the season for joy and togetherness. Eat, drink, laugh, love, and enjoy yourself! Happy Holidays!

holiday | gratitude | grateful | self-care | wellness

Feeling lonely and wanting to reach out to your ex? Here are 7 reasons you shouldn’t get back with an ex over the holidays…

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xx,

Paula

7 Things to Try When You’re Feeling Stuck in a Relationship

Feeling stuck is a place no one thinks they’ll end up, nor is it a place anyone wants to be. When one meets their new heartthrob, you can literally foresee what the next several years will look like—so much happiness that it’s coming out of your nose, an abundance of laughter, and more loving feels than you ever imagined possible.

But what if life takes a different course? A course that involves less happiness than you expected, and a whole lot of resentment and wishing things were better? Unfortunately, this is a reality in many relationships. The crazy part is that this is usually the case with the love affairs we expect to last forever.

So where do you go from here? You feel like your relationship has hit a wall, and sometimes you feel like you want to bang your head against that same wall. You’re feeling stuck. Do you walk away? Well maybe…? But what if you just need some space? You love your other half so much that words can’t do that love justice—seriously, how did you end up here?

Well, the first (and most important) question you need to ask yourself is if you’re feeling stuck because of you, or because of the relationship.

In order to figure it out, try these seven things:

Take a step back

In order to get a wide angle view, sometimes you need to step out of your comfortable bubble. What does the picture look like from a different standpoint? Do you like what you see? What would you do differently if you could move pieces of the puzzle around?

When we look at our lives from a different perspective, from a different lens, it’s possible that new things may come to light…

Brainstorm

Spend time considering the issues you’re facing. Once you have that down, brainstorm how to overcome those issues. It’s okay if you can’t do it alone; be sure to ask for help.

Rediscover you 

Feeling stuck can sometimes be related to losing sight of who you are, and which direction life is taking you. This happens—a lot—and it’s called a crisis. Rediscover yourself. Reinvent yourself. Learn new things, try things you’ve never done before, spend time alone. Be sure that you’re able to figure out what it is that you need to get unstuck, and pursue it.

Reconnect with your social network

Humans are social beings. Yes, being in a relationship is great, but don’t cut out the people in your life. Rather, make it a point to reach out to those people. Spend time with others, especially good friends and family members. So much of who you are comes from the strong bonds in your life. If you can reconnect with an important person, it’s possible for you to reconnect with healthy parts of yourself you forgot existed…

Be basic

No one wants to be basic, but I promise, this is a good kind of basic. Go back to the basics. The best parts of you stem from the things you love to do—the things that make you who you are. We all grow up, move on, and forget the things that we love. Go back there. Go back to the places that make you smile, and do the simple things that bring you absolute, unconditional joy.

Want to go for a bike ride by the beach? Or swing on the playground all day? Or just cuddle in your mom’s lap while watching rom-coms and sipping on hot cocoa? Yeah, do that—do all of that. It will ground you.

Talk to your partner

It may feel like you’re the only one feeling stuck, but maybe your partner’s on the same boat. Talk to each other. Let your partner know how you’re feeling and have a discussion. It’s possible that the two of you may have grown out of this relationship. Or maybe you just need some fire to re-ignite that flame. Whatever it may be, communicate your thoughts and feelings with your partner.

Make changes

At the end of the day, whether moving forward solo or with your partner by your side, something needs to change. Figure out what you want, and go after it. Life is too short to be unhappy, and you’re the only person who can make you happy…

feeling stuck | relationships | communication | change | self-care | back to the basics

Still not sure if you’re in the right relationship? Here’s how to know if it’s real love…

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xx,

Paula

Stress and How to Overcome it

Stress can be super rough on the mind, body, and soul. Ever have one of those days where it feels like the sky is falling? You have countless things to do, and have no idea where to start? Yeah, that’s what every day at my job feels like. Even though the things I’m doing are “helping” others, the stress of it can potentially be harming me.

Having those days can create a lot of overwhelm and stress, however, you still need to figure out how to get shit done. It’s important to consider doing only what can be done that day—all while simultaneously managing other projects or cases.

There are many ways to overcome stress. Some more simple than others, some that can help instantaneously, and some that require a lengthy process and a great deal of time. The first step is trying to learn how to manage those mini episodes of tension.

Here are some helpful tips on how to manage stress at the office:

1. Take a deep breath

Deep breathing helps calm the body and also helps you center yourself. Because stress has the same effect on the body as the fight or flight response, your body is preparing itself for potential danger. Per Harvard University, deep breathing is a “relaxation response” that allows the body to fill with o2—this can slow your heart rate and normalize blood pressure.

Even if you need to step outside for a moment, engage in a breathing exercise and allow your lungs to expand. Take in all of the oxygen, and allow your body to feel the relaxation.

2. Put things into perspective

Remind yourself—of the positive reasons—why you’re doing your job. This will help you to put things into perspective, and allow your body and mind to process the reasons in which you continue to put up with this batshit crazy mess on a daily basis.

3. Stay Positive

You’re a baller. Remind yourself that you are good at your job. Sometimes we work on very challenging cases, with very challenging people. This can sometimes cause us to question our abilities and strengths. Remember how great you are at your job. If it will help, write down 5-10 reasons as to why you’re excellent at what you do—keep this in your desk, pocket, or purse so it is easily accessible.

4. Step back and assess the situation

Think: What about this is making me anxious? Is it time? Is it the number of tasks I need to get done? Is it because I cannot find a solution? Whatever it is, it’s okay. Take a step back and break it down.

5. Prioritize your biz

Break down your responsibilities. What is the most pressing item that needs to be completed. Which task has a deadline? Depending on where you work and what your responsibilities are, you know how to set priorities—basically, what is it that your company values and prefers to get taken care of first? You are capable of making smart decisions. You got this!

6. Time management

Set time limits. If you’ve prioritized the 7 million and 23 things you need to do, and there’s still too many things to manage in a single 8-hour shift, then you might want to consider setting time limits on each task. With this, if there are mini deadlines or specific planning that needs to be completed, you can arrange your time in a way that will allow for you to get to everything on your list.

7. Ask for help

 Sometimes our colleagues may have less work to finish than we do. If considered appropriate in your office, reach out to ask if anyone has some extra time to either partner up with you, or completely take the task off of your hands. Even if this is only for a few hours, or to get you to the next step, anything is helpful.

8. Know when to stop

Just because we are scheduled for an 8-hour shit, doesn’t mean that you only stay those 8-hours. Sometimes I find myself doing plenty of overtime. This is okay sometimes, however, it should not become a regular thing. Remember that you need to take care of yourself. Spending all of your time working is not congruent with the idea of self-care

9. Do something for you

Whether this is a daily or weekly thing, make sure to engage in an activity that you enjoy. As mentioned above, self-care is VERY important. When you are able to care for your mind and body, you allow them to rest and revitalize. With this, when you return to work you will be refreshed and productive.

10. Make work-life balance a regular thing

Self-care is so important all the time, not only in times of stress. Maintaining a work-life balance should become a part of your lifestyle. Know when to say no. Know when enough is enough. Be aware of burnout, and make sure that your mind and body are provided with the care that they need.

Be kind to yourself. Make yourself the priority…

xx,

Paula

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