Don’t Settle: Why You Should Wait for The One

dating | relationship | don't settle | love | soulmate

I know. It’s literally the most cliché thing ever, but seriously, don’t settle. Wait for “the one” because it’s so worth it

As we get older and into our twenties and thirties, society tells us that it’s time to settle down. This message is clearly conveyed to us by the abundance of invitations in our iCalendar for weddings, bridal showers, baby showers, and well, whatever other cheesy crap goes on.

You get dressed, put a smile on, walk in without a date, because you’d much rather fly solo than walk in on the arm of the douche of the week…

I literally did this for two years. TWO YEARS. It did feel much longer than that, however, due to my ex basically being non-existent emotionally. He was just a warm body and not much else. Zero fun.

Anyway, I went on date after date with plenty of handsome, intelligent, successful men, all while trying to ignore the thought that my clock was ticking. Literally all of my friends were getting married—I guess that meant I should also be aiming for that? Everyone in my life was asking if I had met someone wasn’t helping either. Even with all of the pressure, I refused to settle.  

None of these lovely dudes were the right dude. And even though we had fun, and laughed, and these fellas had plenty to offer, it still wasn’t enough—something was missing.

Remember that puzzle I talked about last week? And how when you find your missing piece, everything kind of comes together? Yeah, that happened after two years of dating. From the moment we sat down with that first bottle of Cabernet we shared, I knew there was something about him. Something special. There was a spark.

Regardless of my excellent ability to self-sabotage, I managed to stick it out. With this, I was lucky enough to find my one. Again, I really believe that life provides you with exactly what you need at exactly the right time. If I would have settled at some point in my dating adventure, there’s a chance he and I would have missed our opportunity.

Here’s what it feels like when you find the one:

You feel it in your gut

Things just feel right. I can’t quite explain it, but every part of you is drawn to this person. It’s kind of magnetic…

Things are easy

No fighting, no games, things just flow. Every couple has their issues, but it goes back to that 90/10 rule I wrote about a while ago. You should be happy wayyy more often than not.

Your lives mesh well

You like to do the same things, your social circles click, your families are basically in love, it just works.

The attraction is real 

I’m not just talking about a physical attraction, but your energies really connect. Energies find similar energies. Again, you just vibe.

Support

You will find yourself in a supportive environment. It’s most likely working because you guys value the same things. With this, your partner will be your biggest fan—the one who supports you the most. What’s the point of being in a relationship if the person by your side isn’t willing to stand by you?

Your love language

You will most likely have the same love languages. If you don’t know what your languages are, you can take the test for free here. Trust me, it’s worth the time!

You can’t imagine life without them

Even after a short period of time, you can’t imagine what life was like before sharing your experiences with this person. How was it possible to live, or exist, without them? It just seems insane…

Everything is better with them

Literally, everything. They improve your life just by being in it. You can’t wait to share news with them, and all you can think about when leaving the office is getting home to them. The level in which this person enhances your life is substantial, and being able to have this for possibly ever because you chose not to settle is just beyond comprehension.

You’ll know when you’ve found the one…don’t settle, and don’t lose hope. It’s all about timing…

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xx,

Paula

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