Dating has significantly changed over the years. While our parents and grandparents were meeting in high school, or at the local ice cream shop, or seeing each other from across the room, millennials are now meeting on platforms such as Tinder. All love stories are beautiful, but that’s just it—are they still love stories? Or has dating turned into a single-serving experience? Simply a way to get what you need for right now?
Because of the new rules of dating, the value of building a relationship with another person has radically decreased. This is problematic for many reasons, especially because millennials are learning to degrade people; to cheapen their worth. People are people, and they should all be valued and respected, whether they fulfill your needs or not.
Dating should be about joy, adventure, and the excitement of learning about a new person. Figuring out how this person complements you, and what makes them special. To discover what they like, and what things you two have in common. To be friends. To be lovers. To be all that you need.
Not all relationships work out and head in that direction, however, it’s important to have fun. Each person will teach you something new, and it will be worthwhile in the long run.
Dating should not be about instant gratification. It should not be about using someone for your own selfish needs. It should not be about ghosting, and ignoring, and being hurtful. Dating should be about honesty. It’s possible you may not be interested after a few dates, so be honest. Just be honest—if not for the other person, do it for yourself…
Why dating shouldn’t be about instant gratification:
Socializing
With the way in which millennials communicate today, primarily via text, emojis, and email, it’s possible to lose sight of how to best socialize. Whether meeting your soulmate, or going on a single date with someone, be social. Ask questions, get to know one another, and most importantly, put your phone down. Dating well is something you can learn, so enjoy yourself and take notes—this may benefit you in the future.
Building relationships
If the date doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with this person. Take time to build a relationship—you never know what you’ll find and how it can impact your life.
Figuring out what you need in a partner
If you don’t allow yourself any time to actually get to know someone, you won’t have the opportunity to learn what it is that you want, and don’t want in a partner. By engaging in single serving relationships, you are doing yourself a disservice…
Missed chances
According to Forrest Gump, life is like a box of chocolates and you never know what you’re gonna get—so try. Not getting to know someone can potentially cause you to miss out on finding your special someone.
Don’t judge a book by its cover
Society is so heavily focused on looks, money, and status, that it may prevent you from giving someone the chance they deserve. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Meet up with someone because they’re cool and make you laugh, not just because they’re hott. Although attraction is important, don’t be shallow.
Respect
Respecting others should always be a priority. If you don’t plan on seeing someone anymore let them know. Remember, there’s an actual person on the other side of the text box. A human being with thoughts, emotions, and a heart. It’s not appropriate to just ghost someone because you can’t be bothered to deal with it—would you want someone to do that to you?
Be yourself
Remember to always be yourself. Be the kind, cool person that you are. Let people in and allow them, and yourself, to see just how wonderful you are. Let them see why you are to be valued. Let them see what makes you special. Let them see you.
Dating bringing you down? Check out our tips on how to date fearlessly…
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xx,
Paula
