Love is selfless, love is kind, love is a gift.
Love is one of those things that we can feel, see in the eyes of another, and verbally express. However, it’s not something we can measure. One can say they will love their partner to the moon and back, or more than unicorns love cotton candy, but actions speak much louder than words.
In my current relationship, I have been able to recognize real love. The difference is that rather than hearing simply hearing “I love you,” I can feel it in my bones. I can see it in how he treats me. I can experience it in how we communicate. I know we are right for each other because he loves me the way I need to be loved.
Love languages are real. The way each person expresses and interprets love is unique—if someone can love you the way that you need to be loved and vice versa, you’re definitely ahead of the game.
Above all, choosing to love someone is much stronger than the love itself.
You can love a flower, but if you neglect to nurture and water it, it will die. Relationships are similar—to maintain a strong and healthy relationship, you must invest an appropriate amount of time and effort into nurturing that connection and meeting the needs of your partner.
Please don’t confuse meeting the needs of your partner with neglecting yourself. You can engage in a great deal of giving in a relationship, all while not losing sight of your own needs and boundaries. Remember that compromise is vital in the success of a relationship, and it’s important to maintain a balance.
Balance is key.
Love is different for each person, but the foundation of a relationship comes down to a few things…
What is love?
1. It’s a choice
You and your partner must choose to be with one another—to be present, to be invested, and to be engaged. If one person is not as interested in the relationship as the other, problems will arise. Don’t stay in a relationship if it’s for the wrong reasons, as it is emotional torture for both parties.
2. It’s a priority
You can include someone in your life, but not prioritize him or her. Create a life together, and include that person in your decision process. Whether deciding if you’ll relocate for a job, or what to order for dinner, include your partner in making a decision. This person is your other half, and should be allowed an opinion and choice.
3. It’s compromise
Put your partner first. Sometimes it’s the little things, and sometimes it’s the big things. As long as you know what your limits are, it is okay to put your partner’s needs before your own sometimes. Sacrifice is a huge part of relationships, and it will show your partner just how committed and invested you are. However, it’s important to remember that this is a two-way street.
4. It’s being dependable
Be there. No matter what it is, be there for your partner. If you two cannot be there to care for and support one another, who will be? Again, prioritize your partner and relationship over other things.
5. It’s being present
Be there—emotionally and mentally. This is crucial to the success of any relationship. Presence isn’t necessarily a physical concept, and we are able to see that in long-distance relationships that are healthy. Connection isn’t about where you are, but rather, at what capacity you’re present. Be involved.
6. It’s putting up a fight
Fight for the person you care for, no matter what the situation is. If you want person this person to be a part of your life, fight.
7. It’s picking your battles
Some things are worth fighting for, and others just aren’t. Decide when you’re willing to compromise, and talk to your partner when you’re not. As long as you communicate, things will be okay.
8. It’s getting physical
Physical attraction and love are a huge part of relationships. Be intimate and love your partner. I’m not just talking about sex, but rather, connecting with your partner. Whether it’s cuddling, holding hands, or engaging in a mere kiss, it’s the simple things that can feel the most intimate…
9. It’s not taking your partner for granted
Love your partner and treat them with kindness and respect on the regular. If you knew today was the last day you would see your partner, what would you say? What would you do? Yeah—that’s how you should treat your partner every single day. You never know when the last time is the last time…
10. It’s a package
Respect, commitment, trust, compromise, fun, laughter, etc. Love is a package. How you choose to seal, wrap, and deliver that package is what makes each relationship unique. The basic foundation of each relationship comes down to a few vital and necessary qualities; this allows for a healthy relationship to continually thrive and develop.
Choose commitment. Choose happiness. Love wholeheartedly…
Wanting to reignite the spark in your relationship? Check out our ten tips on how to keep the novelty alive!
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xx,
Paula
